The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
Like oxygen, food is the another necessity for survival. One most eat healthy food which consists of low fats, low calorie and less oily products. While some people take precautions for this, some do not especially children's. Childrens like to eat unhealthy food items or fast food items as they find them for tastier compared to low fat less calorie food items.
Schools play an important role in the life of student.It is said as the first temple for them. These days, school as a measure for healthy society and health of childrens have started with an innovative ideas of providing food in their cafeteria. This not only give students an option to eat hot food but also helps in not losing the nutrients that food loose when kept at bay for long hours like fruits. One such example of school is Kensington Academy.
Kensington Academy has hired a vendor named Swift Nutrition. The academy took great care in choosing the vendor keeping health issues in mind. However, some students do not like the quality or less number of options available to eat. This is evident from the parent letter received to the principal of the academy. The letter intent to convey that his son and his friends were not satisfied by the low fat or low calorie food options.
To decide on the prediction or reasonability of the letter one can assume that this might be the opinion of only few childrens who are fond of eating unhealthy food or do not like the quality of food provided and not of the entire batch.This might also be the opinion of large number of students.To analyse this, the academy can conduct the survey among the students by asking them about the quality of food and changes required. The academy can come up with a Kiosk system where students can inform the authorities about the poor quality of food served with maintaining the confidentiality of students if he doesnt want to reveal. This will not only help the academy keep the vendors at alert but also help them take actions against the quality of food if not served. It is very difficult to judge on the basis of one parents opinion. The school can take steps at forth coming parents meet and discuss this as one of the agenda to have a general opinion.
The school can also come up with an option of providing fast foods or some delicious food to their childrens once a week or as an evening meal. This will help childrens in enjoying all varieties of meals.
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Sentence: These days, school as a measure for healthy society and health of childrens have started with an innovative ideas of providing food in their cafeteria.
Error: childrens Suggestion: children
Sentence: To decide on the prediction or reasonability of the letter one can assume that this might be the opinion of only few childrens who are fond of eating unhealthy food or do not like the quality of food provided and not of the entire batch.This might also be the opinion of large number of students.To analyse this, the academy can conduct the survey among the students by asking them about the quality of food and changes required.
Error: reasonability Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: childrens Suggestion: children
Sentence: The school can also come up with an option of providing fast foods or some delicious food to their childrens once a week or as an evening meal.
Error: childrens Suggestion: children
Sentence: This will help childrens in enjoying all varieties of meals.
Error: childrens Suggestion: children
flaws:
The essay is not exactly right on the topic. This is an argument essay not issue essay. The format should be like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: argument 1
para 3: argument 2
para 4: argument 3
para 5: conclusion
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 434 350
No. of Characters: 1955 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.564 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.505 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.277 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.842 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.756 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.421 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.308 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.54 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.145 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5