The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
In the above argument, the discussion is of replacing a private vendor, swift nutrition with some other ones which offer are healthy food to the students of Kensington Academy. I refute the above debate on the following points.
Firstly, they have not mentioned the nutrition of the food they are serving and, low fat and low-calorie does not prove as not having a healthy food else they are objecting that they are not giving junk food to the students. In fact, it is better for the student's health even though they do not enjoy their lunch. At this point in their age, healthy food is more important than them to enjoy their lunch as they are of growing age and their body needs a constant supply of high nutrients in the body.
Secondly, they have not given the exact number of students relying on this private vendor, swift nutrition for their lunches. Also, only some of their friends have the problem of this and no report of earlier of facing the same problem. It also says that this has lasted for a year now. It is also possible that the student's family would not afford these lunches and hence gives their lunchbox.
Thirdly, they have assumed that student brings their lunches which are not healthy. It might be possible that the students bring their lunch which is healthy as most of them have thinking of all the homemade foods are healthier than <span style="font-size: 19.36px;">outside food</span>.
In conclusion, the argument is unconvincing as it stands. To bolster it, they should have provided strong evidence claiming that students on bring unhealthy lunches if they do not rely on this and that the cafeteria is serving unhealthy food in the first place. Finally, to better evaluate the argument we would need more information about the number of students buying these lunches from them so that we can assess how to get healthy lunches to the students of the Kensington Academy.
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2019-12-18 | Chayank_11 | 78 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 02
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 332 350
No. of Characters: 1535 1500
No. of Different Words: 157 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.269 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.623 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.243 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 100 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 44 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.164 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.333 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.608 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 256, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...students. In fact, it is better for the students health even though they do not enjoy th...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 317, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
... year now. It is also possible that the students family would not afford these lunches a...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, in conclusion, in fact, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 11.1786427146 54% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 28.8173652695 160% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1598.0 2260.96107784 71% => OK
No of words: 328.0 441.139720559 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.87195121951 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25567506705 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68409065666 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 161.0 204.123752495 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.490853658537 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 468.0 705.55239521 66% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.2433193541 57.8364921388 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.142857143 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.4285714286 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.71428571429 5.70786347227 153% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.146509335458 0.218282227539 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0571185512526 0.0743258471296 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0462233374046 0.0701772020484 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0894077396307 0.128457276422 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0391123700654 0.0628817314937 62% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.05 48.3550499002 135% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.26 12.5979740519 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.62 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 98.500998004 60% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.