"The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company. "According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year. Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising."
The advertising director of Super Screen Movie Production in his memo pointed some arguments to support his suggestion to increase the budget in advertising to boost their number of customer. To bolster his point, he pointed that the awareness of people has declined about good movies that is why the number movie goers has declined but pradoxically, they also get more good reviews from the reviwers. However, I think the points he made to support his point are not substantial for the Super Screen Movie Production to increase their budget on advertising to lure more movie lovers.
First of all, the points here are not made from a neutral point of view. As an advising director he might play a plot to increase the budget in his department. Why am I pointing this? In the first point he made a claim that fewer people attended in their movies. Unfortunately, there is no data their to back his point. Maybe, 5/10 less people joined in their movies which should not be a cause of headache. On the other hand, if 100 or 1000 fewer people came to watc their movie then it might be point of concern but he didn't pointed out anything there.
Secondly, he talks about the increase of the reviewer of their movie. Here, effect doesn't follow the cause at all. If the number of movie goers decrease how the number of reviewers increase? That is why I am not buying his arguments.
Thirdly, he criticized the taste of movie of the people without any strong base. Maybe, another production house established their business in the same area that Super Screen Movie Production is working. In fact, the new company might have a better plan for their potential customers which is making the business of Super Screen Movie Production worse. That is why, more people are going to the movies made by new production house. In that case, investment is required in the other departments of Super Screen Movie Production not in the advertising department.
To sum up, I would like to recommend that Super Screen Movie Production should run another investigation to find out the reason behing the declining of their business. Moreover, this time they should appoint a neutarl body of investigation to find out the actual reason. After that, the should think about investing in the exact department.
- "While some leaders in government, sports, industry, and other areas attribute their success to a well-developed sense of competition, a society can better prepare its young people for leadership by instilling in them a sense of cooperation." 50
- "The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Super Screen Movie Production Company. "According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in a 23
Comments
Essay evaluation report
samples:
https://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-argument-task-essays/following-taken-me…
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 396 350
No. of Characters: 1843 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.461 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.654 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.499 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.224 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.311 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.524 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.139 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 74, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... not made from a neutral point of view. As an advising director he might play a pl...
^^
Line 3, column 333, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun people is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...ta their to back his point. Maybe, 5/10 less people joined in their movies which sho...
^^^^
Line 3, column 522, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...hen it might be point of concern but he didnt pointed out anything there. Secondl...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 84, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...e reviewer of their movie. Here, effect doesnt follow the cause at all. If the number ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, i think, in fact, first of all, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 28.8173652695 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1899.0 2260.96107784 84% => OK
No of words: 393.0 441.139720559 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.8320610687 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45244063426 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56264543322 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.460559796438 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 570.6 705.55239521 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 50.5683401428 57.8364921388 87% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.3181818182 119.503703932 72% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.8636363636 23.324526521 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.81818181818 5.70786347227 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.258606542406 0.218282227539 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.082240246763 0.0743258471296 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0709094735513 0.0701772020484 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.14495849174 0.128457276422 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0872078970929 0.0628817314937 139% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 14.3799401198 71% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.44 12.5979740519 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.01 8.32208582834 84% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 98.500998004 64% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.