"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can ın plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
In the argument presented, a deduction has been made that birth order affects individuals levels of stimulation taking three unseemly related studies as an evidence. The studies on first-born monkeys, first-born humans and first-time mothers ,far from being complementary, each have their own flaws by themselves therefore susceptible to other interpretations.
The first study discussed in conducted on a very small sample as 18 rhesus monkeys which we have no information on the sample characteristics. For example, some of the monkeys origin might be different than the others and this might be the reason for high levels of hormonal reaction. For example, if some of the monkeys had borned at an island where they rarely encounter danger, the study environment might be a new experience which in turn increases their reaction.
Second study presented as evidence is the increased reaction of human first borns after absence of a parent. The study lacks the clearity on what constitutes a stimuli and does all the first born humans show the same hormonal pattern to the range of different stimuli. The study only demonstrated first born humans reaction to their parents after an absence period which is a positive stimulation contrary to the first born monkey experiment which uses a negative stimuli such as feer. Therefore there is no distinct relation between studies and each might lead to specific explanations.
Finally, the author ambiguously attributes first-time mothers high level of cortisol levels to the first-born monkeys high cortisol levels. However there is no information on are the monkeys in two distinct studies have a mother-child relation therefore relating them would be a very hurried interpretation. The high cortisol levels of first time mother monkeys might also be a consequence of a first time experience.
To conclude, the studies mentioned are open to various distinct interpretation due to the lack of connection between them and their inherent flaws. If the study were conducted on a broader sample size, on a controlled environment where we have the tract of each mother-child pair and knowledge on characteristics of the monkeys, the interpretation might be correct. However as they stand, high cortisol level might be a product of first time encounter of a situation or a reaction special to stimuli considered.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- not OK
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samples:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-2-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 374 350
No. of Characters: 1947 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.398 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.206 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.978 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 119 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.933 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.615 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.867 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.388 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.624 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.138 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 242, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...first-born humans and first-time mothers ,far from being complementary, each have ...
^^
Line 2, column 157, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...he sample characteristics. For example, some of the monkeys origin might be different than ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 169, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'monkeys'' or 'monkey's'?
Suggestion: monkeys'; monkey's
...aracteristics. For example, some of the monkeys origin might be different than the othe...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 203, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[2]
Message: Did you mean 'different 'from''? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
...f the monkeys origin might be different than the others and this might be the reason...
^^^^
Line 2, column 302, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...s of hormonal reaction. For example, if some of the monkeys had borned at an island where t...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 309, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'humans'' or 'human's'?
Suggestion: humans'; human's
... The study only demonstrated first born humans reaction to their parents after an abse...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 465, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'stimulus'?
Suggestion: stimulus
...monkey experiment which uses a negative stimuli such as feer. Therefore there is no dis...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 487, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...h uses a negative stimuli such as feer. Therefore there is no distinct relation between s...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 141, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...irst-born monkeys high cortisol levels. However there is no information on are the monk...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 367, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...s, the interpretation might be correct. However as they stand, high cortisol level migh...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, second, so, therefore, for example, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 28.8173652695 45% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 28.0 16.3942115768 171% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1982.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 374.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.29946524064 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3976220399 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05785576105 2.78398813304 110% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.483957219251 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 612.0 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.7867152165 57.8364921388 60% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.133333333 119.503703932 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.9333333333 23.324526521 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.53333333333 5.70786347227 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.210429022179 0.218282227539 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0845592359101 0.0743258471296 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.053598917093 0.0701772020484 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.129530672032 0.128457276422 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0350054560311 0.0628817314937 56% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.76 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.71 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 98.500998004 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.