"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The argument presented about a study of rhesus monkeys giving insights to the effect of birth order on stimulation levels is rife with holes because of three primary reasons. The facts comparing the study on monkeys to a human doesn't provide a strong base for accepting this explanation.
Given the sample of monkeys were all of one type (rhesus monkeys), the experiment already becomes skewed because they all might be having the same levels of hormonal secretion that is vastly different from other types. Hence, making a conclusion based on a biased dataset is not justifiable because the results won't be a true representation of the problem statement. It is mentioned that the study was done on 18 rhesus monkeys and compared with a human. However, there is no reference to how many humans were part of this experiment. For instance, if these results had been compared to only 2 infants only, the lack of necessary humans for coming to an unbiased decision makes the argument flawed.
Moreover, the stimulus used in the experiment is different for both monkeys and humans. The monkeys encountered unfamiliar faces that struck fear in them, while the humans met their parents after a long time that brought happy memories and a sense of relieve. Both the feelings are different and hence cannot be juxtaposed to compare their results. For example, it might had been possible that the first born human being experimented on was very close to his parents compared to his other siblings that weren't or even had family problems. This sense of irkness might have lowered their excitement to meet their parents, thereby not releasing enough cortisol hormone.
Apart from these, we were not given any figures on the amount of cortisol that was secreted by humans. Although it has been mentioned that the first born produced relatively higher levels, but that doesn't give an estimate as to how high were the values. If the amount secreted was more than four or five times it doesn't conform to the double amount secreted by the first born monkey.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
samples:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-2-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 350 350
No. of Characters: 1668 1500
No. of Different Words: 193 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.325 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.766 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.431 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 120 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.973 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.314 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.536 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.069 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 228, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...mparing the study on monkeys to a human doesnt provide a strong base for accepting thi...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 504, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: weren't
...nts compared to his other siblings that werent or even had family problems. This sense...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 199, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...uced relatively higher levels, but that doesnt give an estimate as to how high were th...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 314, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ted was more than four or five times it doesnt conform to the double amount secreted b...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, hence, however, if, moreover, so, while, apart from, as to, for example, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 12.9520958084 31% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1703.0 2260.96107784 75% => OK
No of words: 345.0 441.139720559 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.93623188406 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3097767484 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.48744632182 2.78398813304 89% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 204.123752495 95% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.56231884058 0.468620217663 120% => OK
syllable_count: 537.3 705.55239521 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.9201933307 57.8364921388 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.533333333 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.46666666667 5.70786347227 113% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.17936721789 0.218282227539 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0610737674877 0.0743258471296 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0724857053682 0.0701772020484 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.122532899032 0.128457276422 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0892843356933 0.0628817314937 142% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.67 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.8 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.