"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
The argument claims that birth order has effects on the level of stimulation of rhesus monkey. It says that first borns tend to have more cortisol level than younger siblings. However, the study was performed on only eighteen monkeys, which is not a significant number to reach a conclusion like that. Also, while some stimulating situations may lead to the conclusion, there may be other stimulating situations which may provide different results. Again, the study was done on rhesus monkeys, which does not allow to reach a conclusion about other monkeys.
The recent study was performed on eighteen rhesus monkeys. The number of monkeys involved in the study is not enough to reach a conclusion. If more monkeys were involved in the study, the result might be different from that obtained. Individual animals differ in their behavior in a wide range, which necessitates the need for increased number of subjects in a study. Therefore, limited number of monkeys in the study cannot lead to a convincing result.
The argument states that stimulating events have more effect in first borns than their younger siblings. The example provided was an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey and pregnancy. But it does not mean that the monkeys will behave in the same way in other stimulating events. The argument does not mention if there were other stimulating events observed in the study. There might be situations where younger monkeys might have more stimulating effects than the first borns. The study should not generalize the results based on a limited number of stimulating events. Another example the argument provides is human behavior in stimulating situations, which does not match with the context here.
The study provides release of more cortisols in first borns as the effect of stimulating events. However, there might be other hormones involved in response to those events, which the study may not have observed. Also, there might be environmental effects involved in the monkeys’ cortisol level which might not be considered. To get the complete picture of the study, these factors are required to be analyzed.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 345 350
No. of Characters: 1740 1500
No. of Different Words: 136 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.31 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.043 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.556 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 123 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.429 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 3.017 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.369 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.523 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.104 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 516, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'reaching'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: reaching
...on rhesus monkeys, which does not allow to reach a conclusion about other monkeys. ...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, so, therefore, while, in the same way
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 11.1786427146 18% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 12.0 28.8173652695 42% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1802.0 2260.96107784 80% => OK
No of words: 345.0 441.139720559 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.2231884058 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3097767484 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66969582207 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 147.0 204.123752495 72% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.426086956522 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 555.3 705.55239521 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 20.6672152659 57.8364921388 36% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 85.8095238095 119.503703932 72% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.4285714286 23.324526521 70% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.47619047619 5.70786347227 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.297487028763 0.218282227539 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.1033769168 0.0743258471296 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0923397719326 0.0701772020484 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.184260161245 0.128457276422 143% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0495853287279 0.0628817314937 79% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 48.3550499002 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.7 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.73 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 98.500998004 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.