"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
The argument is based on the assumption that level of stimulation is driven by the order in which an individual is born I.e. first borns show higher level of stimulation as compared to those who are not the first. The examples given talk about first born humans and first time mother and how they show high level of cortisol and the writer of the letter link the reason for this higher level to the fact that they are the firsts. Before this argument can be fully evaluated answers to below 2 questions must be addressed.
Firstly, what if the infant monkey is producing more hormone cortisol due to a hormonal disorder which he has acquired during birth. if it is found that the infant suffer from hormonal disorder and as a result is producing more amount of hormone cortisol then the assumption of birth order has got nothing to do with the higher hormonal production and in turn increased activity levels and the argument will be flawed.
Secondly, in the example provided of a first time mother monkey what if it is determined that high level of cortisol is identified due to pregnancy and not due to the fact that it is it’s first pregnancy. Generally during pregnancy it is noted some disorder appear only during the pregnancy time and it goes off after that. Similarly, in case it is found that the higher level of cortisol is due to the pregnant monkey’s condition then the assumption linking the high level of cortisol to first time event will fail and the argument is weakened.
To conclude, the argument as it stands right now is severely flawed and must answer above asked questions and provide more study results to make the case strong. Until this is not done the argument cannot be fully evaluated and a strong case or conclusion cannot be drawn out of it.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 315 350
No. of Characters: 1441 1500
No. of Different Words: 142 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.213 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.575 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.35 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 96 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 63 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 35 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.861 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.428 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.704 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.125 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 431, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Before” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...l to the fact that they are the firsts. Before this argument can be fully evaluated an...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 134, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...der which he has acquired during birth. if it is found that the infant suffer from...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, if, second, secondly, similarly, so, then, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1483.0 2260.96107784 66% => OK
No of words: 315.0 441.139720559 71% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.70793650794 5.12650576532 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.21286593061 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.44662858514 2.78398813304 88% => OK
Unique words: 147.0 204.123752495 72% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.466666666667 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 463.5 705.55239521 66% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 4.96107784431 0% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 19.7664670659 51% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 31.0 22.8473053892 136% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 58.5115373238 57.8364921388 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 148.3 119.503703932 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.5 23.324526521 135% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.0 5.70786347227 123% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.135922818554 0.218282227539 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0544375392992 0.0743258471296 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0517633542379 0.0701772020484 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0742848709369 0.128457276422 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.02998811101 0.0628817314937 48% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.5 14.3799401198 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.47 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.63 12.5979740519 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.88 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 54.0 98.500998004 55% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.4 11.1389221557 129% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.