Slimville city residence have adopted healthier lifestyles. A recent survey of city residents shows that their exercise habits conform more closely to what doctors and health practitioners recommend than they did 7 years ago. During those 7 years, more people have been taking daily walks than ever before. Although a few gymnasiums in the city have closed down, the other sport complexes and gymnasiums see full attendance in some seasons. Because Of these positive changes in the exercising habits of the city residents, we predict that the obesity rate of the city will soon be below the national average.
The author claims that the residents of Slimville city have adopted a healthier lifestyle and have been following the recommendations of the doctors and health practitioners. The author believes that these positive changes will lead to decrease in obesity rates. Even though at the first glance, this seems like a valid an argument, but on careful examination it is found that the argument is rife with holes and assumptions.
The author talks about a survey which shows that the exercise habits of residents are similar to that of the doctors’ recommendations. This survey lacks evidence without which it can be considered unreliable. Questions like- what is the sample size of the survey? how thorough was the survey? need to be answered. If the survey included a small group of people, then it can’t be applicable to rest of the city. Also, what was the age group of the people surveyed? There is a possibility that the people surveyed belong to an older age group and have pre-existing health conditions and need to follow the exercise and diet recommendations by their physician. If so, we cannot conclude anything about the younger generations and their lifestyle. Thus, unless these questions are answered, the survey cannot be used to draw any conclusions
Furthermore, the author talks about the full attendance in gymnasiums. But the author fails to mention strength of these gymnasiums. If the strength is not big enough, it cannot be inferred that a major part of the city uses these gymnasiums. Also, the kind of people who visit these sport complexes are not mentioned. If the complexes are frequented by sport players only, then we cannot claim that a majority of the residents are exercising frequently.
The author goes on and concludes that following the recommendations of doctors and health practitioners is responsible for healthier lifestyles of the residents. But there can be an alternative explanation- the residents may have started following a balanced diet and reduced the intake of unhealthy food. The author also concludes that all these claims will result in decrease in obesity. Although the author is very optimistic, more evidence is required before we make such bold assumptions. In spite of following the exercise recommendations, the residents can consume an unhealthy diet, full of junk and fatty foods, which can affect the health of the residents and increase obesity.
Following proper guidelines by well-known health practitioners can result in a healthier lifestyle, but there are many more factors which need to be considered before making bold claims regarding the obesity rate of the city.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 427 350
No. of Characters: 2164 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.546 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.068 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.872 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 111 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.409 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.377 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.31 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.513 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 265, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: How
... what is the sample size of the survey? how thorough was the survey? need to be ans...
^^^
Line 3, column 294, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Need
...he survey? how thorough was the survey? need to be answered. If the survey included ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, if, may, regarding, so, then, thus, well, kind of, in spite of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2227.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 427.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.21545667447 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54576487731 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98206019508 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.463700234192 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 687.6 705.55239521 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 55.1694759582 57.8364921388 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.8260869565 119.503703932 81% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.5652173913 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.04347826087 5.70786347227 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.67664670659 278% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.240851515456 0.218282227539 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0688693885064 0.0743258471296 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0775345211718 0.0701772020484 110% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.127422027673 0.128457276422 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0459729851193 0.0628817314937 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.0 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.08 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 98.500998004 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.