The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve.
This sanctuary is essential to the survival of the 300 bird species that live in our area. Although only a small percentage of the land will be sold to Smith, the proposed development will have disastrous consequences for our area. The company plans to build a small hotel on the land. Although they have promised to ensure the preservation of the sanctuary, there is no way that their plans will do anything but harm the sanctuary. There are no circumstances under which this sale will benefit our community, which relies on tourists who visit.
The petition shown here poses very exaggarating response by the environmental protection group. At first skim, it looks a very convincing and unuxorial concern but when analysed properly leves with plenty of assumption and abusurd arguments. First major assumption can be inffered from where the group tries to make an argument against the company plans and intentions. Secondly assumption is that allowing the Smith Coproration will have a negative impact on their local economics. Other than these two main reasons there are too much exaggaration of minute details which makes this petition specious and flawed.
In the first assumption, the group tries to make a conclusion on the basis of the intention of the Smith Corporation. We are given only two statements which can give us the idea about the intention of the company. First : The company wants to build a small hotel on land, Second : They have promised to ensure the preservation of the sanctuary. However, none of these statements, implies any negative intentions of the company. Still the group concludes that these deal will do anything but harm, which is very insensible. There are no signs of the vicious intentions by the company. In contrast, company commits to ensure the preservation of the environment.
In the second assumption, the group has shown the negative impact of the deal on their economics. This is merely an axiom that the group have prompted as there are no evidence to support the argument. How the new hotel will decrease the visitors from coming to their place? Infact this new hotel can be advantageous to their economy as the tourist can have a good food and rest while visiting the sanctuary. Tourists are likely to get more amenities then former and this will not adversely effect their interest of visiting the sanctuary.
Finally, there are very much false interpretation made by this group based on the information available. Like, the petition states that there's only a small percentage of the land will be sold in the deal. There's no clerification how big the area is and also what small percentage exactly this is. What if the area of the sentuary is in thousands of acres and the deal needs only a 0.40 % of the total land? Also, in the petition the group makes the use of very heavy words such as "disastrous consequences" which makes the argument totally vague. The brief information about the deal details and the intentions of the Smith Corporations could emphasis the argument in a more realistic manner. Also, the removal of the vague and exaggarating words should be prohibited to make the argument more sensible.
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- The Smith Corporation should not be permitted to develop the land that is now part of the Youngtown Wildlife Preserve. This sanctuary is essential to the survival of the 300 bird species that live in our area. Although only a small percentage of the land 60
Sentence: Secondly assumption is that allowing the Smith Coproration will have a negative impact on their local economics.
Description: The fragment Secondly assumption is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace Secondly with adjective
Sentence: The brief information about the deal details and the intentions of the Smith Corporations could emphasis the argument in a more realistic manner.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to could and emphasis
Sentence: The petition shown here poses very exaggarating response by the environmental protection group.
Error: exaggarating Suggestion: exaggerating
Sentence: At first skim, it looks a very convincing and unuxorial concern but when analysed properly leves with plenty of assumption and abusurd arguments.
Error: unuxorial Suggestion: normal
Error: abusurd Suggestion: absurd
Error: leves Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: First major assumption can be inffered from where the group tries to make an argument against the company plans and intentions.
Error: inffered Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Other than these two main reasons there are too much exaggaration of minute details which makes this petition specious and flawed.
Error: exaggaration Suggestion: exaggeration
Sentence: There's no clerification how big the area is and also what small percentage exactly this is.
Error: clerification Suggestion: clarification
Sentence: What if the area of the sentuary is in thousands of acres and the deal needs only a 0.40 of the total land?
Error: sentuary Suggestion: sentry
Sentence: Also, the removal of the vague and exaggarating words should be prohibited to make the argument more sensible.
Error: exaggarating Suggestion: exaggerating
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argument 1 -- not OK. why 'which is very insensible.'?
read a sample:
http://www.testbig.com/gmatgre-essays/smith-corporation-should-not-be-p…
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 438 350
No. of Characters: 2137 1500
No. of Different Words: 207 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.575 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.879 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.649 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 126 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 83 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.013 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.301 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.473 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.079 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5