The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.” Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disa

Essay topics:

The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.” Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons or examples that could be used to challenge your position

This topic raises the controversial issue of whether {main issue}.
Indisputably, {admit some value in the opposite opinion}.
Nevertheless, {provide evidence to refute the opposite opinion}.
Thus, I generally disagree with the opinion that {opposite opinion}, and would argue that {main assertion}.

First of all, {assert a positive viewpoint}. I would like to point out that the {main support to the position}. To illustrate, let us look at the example of {an example}. In this circumstance, obviously {some observation}. Consequently, it is pretty obvious that {main assertion}.

Furthermore, {refute the opposite side, e.g. if .. not true, then ..}. Specifically, {look into one area to discuss the effect}. Both common sense and personal experience have told us that .... Hence, all the evidence above demonstrates that ...

Admittedly, {opposite opinion}. This is true especially when it comes to {specific areas or applications}. In addition, {further provide some support}. However, the above argument does not constitute a sufficient support to claim that {opposite opinion}. Because {some reason}, {main refutation}.

In conclusion, although {the opposite side}, {refute the opposite and give main support}. As long as some measurements are performed, or some areas are involved, {main conclusion still holds}. In fact, {extend the topic to broader/more abstract areas}.

Votes
Average: 1.6 (1 vote)
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GMAT/GRE Issue Task

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 10, column 49, Rule ID: DOUBLE_PUNCTUATION
Message: Two consecutive dots
Suggestion: .
...ore, {refute the opposite side, e.g. if .. not true, then ..}. Specifically, {look...
^^
Line 10, column 52, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Not
..., {refute the opposite side, e.g. if .. not true, then ..}. Specifically, {look int...
^^^
Line 10, column 67, Rule ID: DOUBLE_PUNCTUATION
Message: Two consecutive dots
Suggestion: .
...pposite side, e.g. if .. not true, then ..}. Specifically, {look into one area to ...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, e.g., first, furthermore, hence, however, if, look, nevertheless, so, still, then, thus, in addition, in conclusion, in fact, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 4.0 19.5258426966 20% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 12.4196629213 16% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 14.8657303371 34% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 33.0505617978 48% => OK
Preposition: 31.0 58.6224719101 53% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 11.0 12.9106741573 85% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1201.0 2235.4752809 54% => More number of characters wanted.
No of words: 202.0 442.535393258 46% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.94554455446 5.05705443957 118% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.76996954942 4.55969084622 83% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.13391155589 2.79657885939 112% => OK
Unique words: 135.0 215.323595506 63% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.668316831683 0.4932671777 135% => OK
syllable_count: 362.7 704.065955056 52% => syllable counts are too short.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59117977528 113% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.2370786517 109% => OK
Sentence length: 9.0 23.0359550562 39% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 21.8647703354 60.3974514979 36% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 54.5909090909 118.986275619 46% => More chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 9.18181818182 23.4991977007 39% => More words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 6.90909090909 5.21951772744 132% => OK
Paragraphs: 8.0 4.97078651685 161% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 10.2758426966 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.83258426966 269% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.00880086378353 0.243740707755 4% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.00292350553289 0.0831039109588 4% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.00925142454886 0.0758088955206 12% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.00427671135527 0.150359130593 3% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0113151146752 0.0667264976115 17% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 14.1392134831 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 45.42 48.8420337079 93% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.2 12.1743820225 76% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.45 12.1639044944 127% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.4 8.38706741573 112% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 100.480337079 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 4.0 11.8971910112 34% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 5.6 11.2143820225 50% => Gunning_fog is low.
text_standard: 4.0 11.7820224719 34% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Minimum 250 words wanted.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.