The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
Whilst a competitive nature is an important trait of a good leader, cooperation is an essential trait of humanity's success. It is what separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom, and is what allows us, as humans, to succeed in so many realms where lesser species have failed.
The ability to cooperate is a unique aspect of human life. Think about wild cheetahs, lions, or monkeys. Their social system revolves around fierce competition: for food, shelter and sexual reproduction. In opposition, humans have evolved to cooperate with each other. This has lead to our species's success in the world. Think about our greatest achievements to-date: the moon landing, our many marvels of modern medicine, or the feat of engineering that is modern transport. These are all the result of remarkable cooperation of many hundreds of humans. Lets take the iPhone as an example. This is a creation that has transformed human lives in not just the social realm, but our ability to work and produce. The iPhone is the result of extreme collaboration. This is evidenced by the fact that there is not one person who would be able to comprehend the blueprint of an iPhone, much less build it. Indeed, it is likely that not one person is able to create the micro chip that is found within an iPhone, due to the complexity of the engineering. These amazing inventions require the brain power of not one, but many humans. They require a collaborative approach. Furthermore, they require cooperation.
Many argue that competition is required to be a good leader. This is a truism: a competitive nature is necessary to succeed in life. However, most individuals are instilled with a sense of competition from birth. We may look to the apes that we have evolved from for evidence of this competitve nature. A more difficult and complex trait to learn is a sense of cooperation.
But why is cooperation beneficial for a leader, specifically? Yes, humans create the best produce when they cooperate. But must a leader be cooperative? I argue that yes, a leader must have a determined sense of cooperation. If we look to government systems that have been run by fierce competitors, it is easy to recognise the destruction ultra competitive leaders cause. A leader with a innately competitive nature will breed a culture of secrecy: competition begets competition, and when every person within a team is competiting (be it a governemnt, industry or scientific team) they will be unwilling to share their secrets, in an attempt to showcase themselves as the best, the brightest and the most productive team leader. Yet, none of the greatest feats of humanity have been created from a well kept secret. As mentioned previously, most of humanity's amazing creations have been the result of intense cooperation.
In sum, a competitive nature is an important aspect of being a human, it creates the drive to improve, create and innovate. However, humanity is evolutionary prone to competition. What separates us from other species, and what has enabled humanity to succeed, is our ability to cooperate. This is evidenced by our greatest innovations: they have all been the result of great cooperation. As leaders define the culture within a team, a leader must be instilled with a sense of cooperation. A cooperative leader will create a cooperative team, and a cooperative team is best placed to produce outstanding work.
- Claim: Nations should suspend government funding for the arts when significant numbers of their citizens are hungry or unemployed.Reason: It is inappropriate—and, perhaps, even cruel—to use public resources to fund the arts when people's basic needs a 62
- The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition. 64
Comments
FYI - for anyone reading, I
FYI - for anyone reading, I entered this into the official GRE ETS "score it now" service and it was rated a 5 out of 6. So I don't think this e-grader system works very well...
I have read your essay, and
I have read your essay, and realized that it may be somehow out of topic. Look at the bold text:
The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields...
I can't figure them out at least in the second paragraph.
and no where in the content mentions young people.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 556, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
...cooperation of many hundreds of humans. Lets take the iPhone as an example. This is ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 388, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ompetitive leaders cause. A leader with a innately competitive nature will breed ...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, however, if, look, may, so, still, well
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 38.0 19.5258426966 195% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.4196629213 64% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 14.8657303371 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.3162921348 115% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 33.0505617978 133% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 72.0 58.6224719101 123% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 12.9106741573 170% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2839.0 2235.4752809 127% => OK
No of words: 568.0 442.535393258 128% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99823943662 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.88187981987 4.55969084622 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9700652045 2.79657885939 106% => OK
Unique words: 254.0 215.323595506 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.447183098592 0.4932671777 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 922.5 704.065955056 131% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 6.24550561798 272% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 9.0 4.99550561798 180% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 10.0 1.77640449438 563% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 36.0 20.2370786517 178% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 23.0359550562 65% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 56.7762760728 60.3974514979 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 78.8611111111 118.986275619 66% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.7777777778 23.4991977007 67% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.58333333333 5.21951772744 30% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 10.2758426966 185% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.83258426966 269% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0966169410757 0.243740707755 40% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0276116735797 0.0831039109588 33% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0349934972217 0.0758088955206 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0604760732579 0.150359130593 40% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0341466599102 0.0667264976115 51% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.0 14.1392134831 71% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 48.8420337079 115% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.1743820225 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.42 12.1639044944 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.08 8.38706741573 96% => OK
difficult_words: 133.0 100.480337079 132% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 11.8971910112 59% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.2143820225 71% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.