The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
The race to the top of any ladder is not a piece of cake. It requires sheer focus and the ability to make firm decisions whether one likes it or not. To become a leader in any field, one has to outrun the other people in the race. Therefore, I strongly disagree that by instilling a sense of cooperation and not a sense of competition among the youngsters will help them become a leader for the following reasons.
Every child has the innate desire to reach to the stars and make it one day. However, being a good person isn't always the way to the top. For example, During a student's college life, there are multiple online coding competitions that provide the students with a platform to shine and hone their skills. However, these competitions require the students to think critically by being under time pressure. The participants that enter these competitions are taught nothing but the techniques to win. Once a person enters this competition he's all alone and there is no one to help him over there. But by being in such an intensive and pressure situation, the person develops a sense of fight, he develops the instincts that are needed to survive till the end. He needs to learn quickly enough that the world is not a lovey-dovey place, instead, it is a brutal cold-hearted place where everyone is rushing to make it to the top and you need to fight your way out to reach there.
Reaching to the stars is one thing, but improving and making yourself much more refined is another important aspect of being a leader. If there's no competition, the sense and will to improve yourself is no longer going to be present within you. A person might think that whatever and however I am right now, that's the best of me. For example, in 2007 Steve jobs launched the very first iPhone that had one feature completely different from other phones. The touch screen. Before the iPhone came into the market, every other manufacture didn't even consider bringing in a touch screen phone and were contended with their traditional bulky handheld devices. The people, however, loved the new touch screen phone and that forced the other companies to step up their game. Now, presently every single phone company is trying to come up with innovations that can revolutionize the smartphone industry and so they can come on the top. As a result of the above example, competition not only forces you to think outside the box but it also instils a sense of betterment among us.
Of course, some might argue that cooperation and team building are important factors for becoming a leader. But in the real world, when you are in trouble, nobody is going to come to save you and pick you up. It has to be you that has to get up and come back with a fighting spirit. It is therefore in the best interest of the future leaders of the society that they are taught how to tackle the competition that's out there in the real world.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 107, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
...t one day. However, being a good person isnt always the way to the top. For example,...
^^^^
Line 3, column 161, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...e way to the top. For example, During a students college life, there are multiple online...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 534, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: he's
.... Once a person enters this competition hes all alone and there is no one to help h...
^^^
Line 5, column 139, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: there's
... important aspect of being a leader. If theres no competition, the sense and will to i...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 309, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
...at whatever and however I am right now, thats the best of me. For example, in 2007 St...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 465, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[3]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'screens'.
Suggestion: screens
... different from other phones. The touch screen. Before the iPhone came into the market...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 537, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...nto the market, every other manufacture didnt even consider bringing in a touch scree...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 409, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
...re taught how to tackle the competition thats out there in the real world.
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, so, still, therefore, as to, for example, of course, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.5258426966 123% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.4196629213 56% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 14.8657303371 148% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.3162921348 124% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 33.0505617978 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 58.6224719101 128% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 12.9106741573 70% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2391.0 2235.4752809 107% => OK
No of words: 521.0 442.535393258 118% => OK
Chars per words: 4.58925143954 5.05705443957 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.77759609229 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47364823826 2.79657885939 88% => OK
Unique words: 264.0 215.323595506 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.506717850288 0.4932671777 103% => OK
syllable_count: 762.3 704.065955056 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.2370786517 124% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.8737397647 60.3974514979 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.64 118.986275619 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.84 23.4991977007 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.8 5.21951772744 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 7.80617977528 102% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.2758426966 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.193637446324 0.243740707755 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0467798216469 0.0831039109588 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0557614162625 0.0758088955206 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119571094638 0.150359130593 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0483686069967 0.0667264976115 72% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 14.1392134831 75% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.8420337079 122% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.1743820225 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.34 12.1639044944 77% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.45 8.38706741573 89% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 100.480337079 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 11.8971910112 67% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.