The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that they have more leisure time.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
The 21st century marks the beginning of the 3rd industrial revolution, which features in the great development in the information technology. Including the first and second industrial revolution, we people all experienced a great change in our life, most in the liberation of labor work. Some then argue that it is such technological advancement’s primary goal to increase people’s efficiency to enjoy more leisure time. I mostly do not agree with the idea in the following three perspectives.
First, it should be acknowledged that the development of technology aims at making people’s life better. Watt invented the steam machine, making new approaches of transportation possible. Edison invented the commercial light bulb, lighting up the houses and streets. And Turing created the idea of computer, using his computer prototype to help us fight back the German Nazis and paving the way for our new information era. Everyone cannot deny the benefits technology advances have brought us. We get bored of tidying the floor and washing dishes, and then it comes the vacuum cleaner and dish washer, so that we are free to do thing we like.
However, the development of technology is not that parochial to only increase people’s efficiency. The technology is developing not only in being faster but also being more harmless. The hole in the O3 zone in quite famous a decade or two ago, which is caused by the use of certain chemical in air-conditioner, and such chemical takes the role of catalyst in the chemical process of change O3 into O2, oxygen, and as the decrease of O3 in the air, the O3 hole thus appeared, which eventually made people vulnerable to skin cancer. Scientists work hard at that time and managed to find a new chemical that does not harm the O3 zone. And after years, the hole was successfully recovered. In the past, technology development was quite blindless and thus much damage was done to the environment, and people are now working hard to fix those mistakes and being more earth friendly, which is also the primary goal of the tech advancement.
Moreover, according to the reality, being more efficient does not always lead to more leisure time. People’s minds, based on the society condition, is malleable to the tech development. In the past factory people are limited in the competition of making more products, while at present, robots take over the job of manufacturing in modern companies, and people turn to the goal of how to maintain the machine and how to arrange the pipeline to get the maximum output. Even though labor jobs are eliminated, new cerebral jobs appear, making some people work more and some people lose their jobs. And if a person loses his or her job, how can his day be described as leisure?
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 450, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'benefits'' or 'benefit's'?
Suggestion: benefits'; benefit's
...formation era. Everyone cannot deny the benefits technology advances have brought us. We...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 503, Rule ID: BORED_OF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'bored with'?
Suggestion: bored with
...nology advances have brought us. We get bored of tidying the floor and washing dishes, a...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, moreover, second, so, then, thus, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.5258426966 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 12.4196629213 24% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 14.8657303371 141% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 33.0505617978 73% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 58.6224719101 101% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 12.9106741573 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2304.0 2235.4752809 103% => OK
No of words: 465.0 442.535393258 105% => OK
Chars per words: 4.95483870968 5.05705443957 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64369019777 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82323904251 2.79657885939 101% => OK
Unique words: 252.0 215.323595506 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.541935483871 0.4932671777 110% => OK
syllable_count: 722.7 704.065955056 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 8.0 1.77640449438 450% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 73.2715881061 60.3974514979 121% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.714285714 118.986275619 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1428571429 23.4991977007 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.33333333333 5.21951772744 64% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.248212506958 0.243740707755 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0706323282552 0.0831039109588 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.06802700227 0.0758088955206 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.140785852191 0.150359130593 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0398032473374 0.0667264976115 60% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 14.1392134831 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.8420337079 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.43 12.1639044944 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.56 8.38706741573 102% => OK
difficult_words: 113.0 100.480337079 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.8971910112 88% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.