Young people should be encouraged to pursue long term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.
I concur with the statement that young people should be encouraged to pursue long term,
realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition. This is because even though
the thought of becoming an overnight success is extremely luring, but it is not the case with
majority of the population. On the other hand, working persistently for years at first will seem to
be tedious and not as exciting as the counterpart, but it will definitely lead to a better living
circumstances.
Some parents exhort their children to look for a shortcut which will lead them to ephemeral
success, which will precipitate to instant fame and recognition . Firstly, even if we somehow
manage to become successful in a short period of time, the fame and recognition that comes
with it may not be there for a long period of time. There are hundreds of artists who are a typical
paradigm of “Successful Today, Forgotten Tomorrow”. For example, a movie actor gave an
outstanding performance in his debut film and got instantly famous. However, his fame
diminished as quickly as he got it. Currently, no producer in the industry even considers him for
a role in their movie.
On the contrary, a latent footballer worked diligently, perfected his skills, mastered his shooting
aim, and maintained discipline for years after which he got the chance to play for his national
team. He got appraisal from the best players in the world, and the best clubs wanted to sign
him. This was not an instant success, but an outcome of the hard work he had put for years
which led him to become one of the most talented footballers in the world. In one of his press
conferences, he mentioned that “It took me 19 years, 225 days and 7 hours to become an
overnight success”. This shows how he must have been encouraged by his family and coaches
for so many years, which helped him to pursue his goals.
However, becoming famous in a short period of time has its perks too. It might be that the family
of a person is not stable financially. The fame and recognition for his work might help them
improve their quality of living. Also, if the person has become famous at this moment, even if his
fame vanishes after a short period of time, there is a chance that he will still be remembered for
his work which gave him recognition, and he might also be substantial for future prospects.
Nevertheless, there is no guarantee of this to happen.
In conclusion, I agree with the statement that encouraging young minds to work hard for years
to pursue realistic goals rather than utopian dreams is always going to be beneficial, whereas
short term fame and recognition may or may not be as much benevolent.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 64, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...cipitate to instant fame and recognition . Firstly, even if we somehow manage to ...
^^
Line 10, column 40, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
... manage to become successful in a short period of time, the fame and recognition that comes w...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 37, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...es with it may not be there for a long period of time. There are hundreds of artists who are ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 26, column 37, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
... However, becoming famous in a short period of time has its perks too. It might be that the...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 29, column 29, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...ven if his fame vanishes after a short period of time, there is a chance that he will still b...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, look, may, nevertheless, so, still, whereas, for example, in conclusion, on the contrary, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.5258426966 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.4196629213 105% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 14.8657303371 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.3162921348 115% => OK
Pronoun: 51.0 33.0505617978 154% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 51.0 58.6224719101 87% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 12.9106741573 77% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2282.0 2235.4752809 102% => OK
No of words: 468.0 442.535393258 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.87606837607 5.05705443957 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65116196802 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78834361025 2.79657885939 100% => OK
Unique words: 233.0 215.323595506 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.497863247863 0.4932671777 101% => OK
syllable_count: 681.3 704.065955056 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 6.24550561798 192% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.77640449438 338% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.2370786517 99% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 23.0359550562 100% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.8342711161 60.3974514979 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.1 118.986275619 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.4 23.4991977007 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.35 5.21951772744 141% => OK
Paragraphs: 30.0 4.97078651685 604% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.220943719475 0.243740707755 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0788312610945 0.0831039109588 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.190398790403 0.0758088955206 251% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0630349447032 0.150359130593 42% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.111845663605 0.0667264976115 168% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.1392134831 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.8420337079 116% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.32 12.1639044944 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.95 8.38706741573 95% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 100.480337079 94% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 11.8971910112 126% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.2143820225 100% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.