describe any festival
Every festive occasion brings joy and wealth for human beings. I am festival aholic person so, i adore festival. Indian people celebrate several festival such as holi,lohari,diwali and so on. Here i would like to establish my views about diwali.
It falls around october or november. Diwali is celebrated in the memory of lord rama. On that day, lord rama returned to ayodha after the exile of fourteen years and ayodha citizen gave warm welcome to lord rama with pump and shown and illuminated the earthen lumps of clarified butter.
I also celebrate diwali many time. generally, i celebrate diwali with my family but when i go out of town, i celebrate diwali with kith and kins,near and dears as well as peer group with simplicity. On the day of celebration, as usually i go to sikh temple with family and listen hymns to feel peace of mind and distribute required things to desitude people. moreover, i go to market with peer group for buying same things such as gifts, dessert, outfits,footwears,crackers and many more for small kids of my family.gone are the days,when people beauity their dwelling by earthen lump but at presant,people beauity their dwelling by electronic bulb,candles and by same othet artificial things. Later on we watch a bomb blasting block buster with friends. People show our pleasure by buying several things and beauity their dwelling and keep them spik and span
.
In evening, i tastefully decorate my dwelling with esrthen lump of clarified butter, candle, electrinic bulb and by same artificial things. Moreover,people worship to god joy and wealth of their family. In addition, we get together and my family conduct a small party ,we celebrate it with simplicity. It is unexpected as well as worth- remembring party for me so, i really relish that party. Furthermore, we taste multicuisines dish,snacks as well as beverage. Later on, we burn crackers and distribute dessert to all. In addition, we all dance on D.J. floor,i also share my foot step with them.
Eventually,i hug with all and say bye-bye to my peer group. In this way,i celebrate diwali by pump and shown.
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Comments
if i use more vocabulary,can
if i use more vocabulary,can i use more bands
Yes, you will get higher
Yes, you will get higher marks if you put more vocabulary words.
Look, you have a lot of
Look, you have a lot of sentences starting with the subject 'I'.
Need to polish sentences -- This is the first step.
what about my idea, they are
what about my idea, they are perfact or not
Ideas are great. Some
Ideas are great.
Some flaws:
Always put a space after punctuation marks. E-rater is sensitive.
Always capitalize the first letter of a sentence. use 'I' instead of 'i'
talk 4 or 5 vocabulary which
talk 4 or 5 vocabulary which i use in essay to more effactive
The vocabulary words are just
The vocabulary words are just fine. Don't need to be picky on them.
We judge essays by following attributes, not just by vocabulary words:
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No. of Spelling Errors:
No. of Sentences:
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i get 7.5 bands, give me 10
i get 7.5 bands, give me 10 points as well as sticky stamp
Sentence: I am festival aholic person so, i adore festival.
Description: A verb 'to be', present tense, 1st person singular is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: I am a festival aholic person...
Sentence: In addition, we get together and my family conduct a small party ,we celebrate it with simplicity.
Description: The fragment family conduct a is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace conduct with verb, past tense
Sentence: On the day of celebration, as usually i go to sikh temple with family and listen hymns to feel peace of mind and distribute required things to desitude people. moreover, i go to market with peer group for buying same things such as gifts, dessert, outfits,footwears,crackers and many more for small kids of my family.gone are the days,when people beauity their dwelling by earthen lump but at presant,people beauity their dwelling by electronic bulb,candles and by same othet artificial things.
Error: othet Suggestion: other
Error: beauity Suggestion: beauty
Error: presant Suggestion: present
Error: desitude Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: People show our pleasure by buying several things and beauity their dwelling and keep them spik and span .
Error: spik Suggestion: ?
Error: beauity Suggestion: beauty
Sentence: In evening, i tastefully decorate my dwelling with esrthen lump of clarified butter, candle, electrinic bulb and by same artificial things.
Error: electrinic Suggestion: electronic
Error: esrthen Suggestion: earthen
Sentence: It is unexpected as well as worth- remembring party for me so, i really relish that party.
Error: remembring Suggestion: remembering
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 367 350
No. of Characters: 1694 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.377 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.616 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.435 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 122 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 29 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.35 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.229 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.45 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.301 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.471 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.141 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5