The bar chart below shows the results of a survey conducted by a personnel department at a major company. The survey was carried out on two groups of workers: those aged from 18-30 and those aged 45-60, and shows factors affecting their work performance. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
The given bar chart presents the findings of a research examining the two different age groups of workers and the measurement of job performance indicators. The data is taken from a hiring and training department at a leading company.
In general, it can be seen from the chart the factors of respecting from colleagues and competent boss influence job performance for old workers, while the young ones seem more likely to have contributory factors.
Turning to the details, workers aged 18-30 and 45-60 year old have an almost sizable proportion of team spirit and work environment, with approximately 50-and-30 per cent. In the case of job satisfaction and money, these two factors are likely to influence the young workers with a slight difference than that of old workers, which the comparison of job satisfaction is 50 and 49% and which of money is 70 and 69% of both groups.
A more detailed look at the data shows that the factors of working environment and personal development affecting young workers estimate more double proportion, nearly 96 vs 40 per cent, while promotion prospects shows more than three times of percentages of old workers, with 25 vs 80 per cent. However, the competent boss could influence more slightly in percentage of workers aged 45-60. Again, the old workers have more respect to their co-workers than that of workers who have young age.
Clearly, there are 10 factors which can affect job performance, but these factors cannot work closely together on both groups of workers.
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Sentence: A more detailed look at the data shows that the factors of working environment and personal development affecting young workers estimate more double proportion, nearly 96 vs 40 per cent, while promotion prospects shows more than three times of percentages of old workers, with 25 vs 80 per cent. However, the competent boss could influence more slightly in percentage of workers aged 45-60.
Description: the sentences are not developed clearly
flaws:
No. of Words: 252 200
Avg. Sentence Length: 36 21.0
Write the essay in 20 minutes.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 7 10
No. of Words: 252 200
No. of Characters: 1234 1000
No. of Different Words: 129 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.984 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.897 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.703 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 83 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 70 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 42 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 36 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 21.961 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.429 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.501 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.853 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.159 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 4