The diagram below show the life cycle of silkworm and the stages in the production of silk cloth.
Summaries the information by selecting and reporting main features and compare where relevant.
The first part of this diagram illustrates, natural production silk during the metamorphosis of silk worm. Whilst, the second segments elaborates the stages of industrial manufacturing of silk cloth. Overall, from hatching of larvae to a fine silk cloth it is a complicated and time requiring process.
To begin with, an adult moth lay eggs on mulberry leaves, that serve as a food for larvae after ten days when they hatch from their eggs. In 4-6 weeks larvae start producing silk threads around their bodies. Afterwards, each larva form a cocoon in 3-8 days, before becoming an adult moth.
On the other hand, cocoons being the main elements in industrial production of silk cloth, are boiled in water. As a result of boiling, silk threads are laxed then they are disentangled. On average, the unwinded threads range from 300 meters to 900 meters. Furthermore, silk threads are twisted together. From here onward, they are either dyed with colors directly or weaved first into clothes an then dispatched for coloring.
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The first part of this diagram illustrates, natural production silk during the metamorphosis of silk worm. //no comma between object and verbs
The first part of this diagram illustrates the life cycle of the silk worm.
Overall, from hatching of larvae to a fine silk cloth
Overall, from the hatching of larvae to a fine silk cloth
an adult moth lay eggs on mulberry leaves, that serve as a food
an adult moth lay eggs on mulberry leaves that serve as a food //no comma before 'that'
each larva form a cocoon
each larva forms a cocoon
silk threads are laxed then they are disentangled
silk threads are laxed, and then they are disentangled //'then' is a adverb
an then dispatched for coloring.
and then dispatched for coloring.
Sentence: On average, the unwinded threads range from 300 meters to 900 meters.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to threads and range
Sentence: As a result of boiling, silk threads are laxed then they are disentangled.
Error: laxed Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: On average, the unwinded threads range from 300 meters to 900 meters.
Error: unwinded Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 11 10
No. of Words: 169 200
No. of Characters: 825 1000
No. of Different Words: 114 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.606 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.882 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.518 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 57 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 37 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 24 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 15 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.364 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.296 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.378 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.561 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.059 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4