It is more iimportant to learn local history rather than world history To what extent do you agree

Essay topics:

It is more iimportant to learn local history rather than world history. To what extent do you agree?

It is argued that the curriculum should put more emphasis on domestic history rather than international history. While not disavowing the formers’ significance, I opine that the latter should not be marginalised.

On the one hand, proponents of local history justify that it positively impacts schoolchildren in a number of aspects. The initial facet stems from its capacity to provide the sense of identity. In particular, presenting the unique historical events of a nation in detail, national history provides learners with a good grasp of how distinctive their motherland is, which can be used to partly explain citizens’ lifestyle and characteristics. Another noteworthy point is that domestic history instils patriotism and enhances social cohesion. A prime illustration for this is when Vietnamese children appreciate the resilience of their ancestors by acquiring knowledge about glorious battles or revolutions, in which the shared pride also reconciles disputes between a number of ethnic groups.

On the other hand, the essence of international history in a comprehensive development of students should not be overlooked. To begin with, just as national history depicts the ups and downs of their own country, foreign history offers student a big picture about the growth, flourish and deterioration of adjacent counterparts. This acts as a catalyst for a positive attitude towards other culture and civilisation, and in long-term, such empathy is believed to promote a harmony between territories on a global scale. In addition, while geopolitical and diplomatic status enables various countries to avoid conflicts and agony throughout its existence, world history displays factual information about both hostility and co-operation, as reflected by the paradigm of World war II. In such cases, only by international history can the fallible natures of humans be exposed, so students can determine what they should do to prevent history from repeating itself.

In conclusion, it seems to me that although national history is essential, a similar focus on world history is highly recommended owing to their own advantages.

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he latter should not be marginalised. On the one hand, proponents of local his...
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Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...es between a number of ethnic groups. On the other hand, the essence of intern...
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Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...revent history from repeating itself. In conclusion, it seems to me that altho...
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Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...t history from repeating itself. In conclusion, it seems to me that althoug...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, if, look, so, while, in addition, in conclusion, in particular, to begin with, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 7.0 157% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 1.00243902439 698% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 10.0 6.8 147% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 3.15609756098 253% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 20.0 5.60731707317 357% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 48.0 33.7804878049 142% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 3.97073170732 277% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1823.0 965.302439024 189% => OK
No of words: 325.0 196.424390244 165% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.60923076923 4.92477711251 114% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.24591054749 3.73543355544 114% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.19125135442 2.65546596893 120% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 106.607317073 188% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.615384615385 0.547539520022 112% => OK
syllable_count: 577.8 283.868780488 204% => syllable counts are too long.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.45097560976 124% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 1.53170731707 261% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 4.33902439024 92% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 1.07073170732 280% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.482926829268 207% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 3.36585365854 238% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 8.94146341463 145% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.4926829268 111% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.5940133877 43.030603864 143% => OK
Chars per sentence: 140.230769231 112.824112599 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0 22.9334400587 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.84615384615 5.23603664747 150% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 1.69756097561 236% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 3.70975609756 216% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 1.13902439024 263% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.09268292683 49% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.258728230194 0.215688989381 120% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0869367870521 0.103423049105 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0718286667256 0.0843802449381 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.154299161773 0.15604864568 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0350816285802 0.0819641961636 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.5 13.2329268293 132% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 29.18 61.2550243902 48% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 6.51609756098 172% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 10.3012195122 149% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.55 11.4140731707 136% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.9 8.06136585366 135% => OK
difficult_words: 124.0 40.7170731707 305% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 11.4329268293 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.9970731707 109% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.0658536585 145% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.