A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public.Write a letter to the com

Essay topics:

A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public.
Write a letter to the company. In your letter
• Describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team
• Summarize the benefits of paying for the concerts
• Say how you think the company should spend the money
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear Sir or madam,

Dear Sir or Madam,

I thought you might be interested in some thought about funding on the local students’ sports team as opposed to a couple of musical events. We are so pleased of your generosity, and I am writing regarding feedback you asked for, hopefully being useful.

It might be said that a substantial proportion of the local youngsters suffers from health-related problems such as obesity due to the sedentary lifestyle they have to lead. They are very interested in healthy pursuits, but the lack of funding makes them less enthusiastic to take any steps. There is no doubt that if you sponsor the team, it would motivate them, ameliorating the situation, and thus detoxifying their lifestyle.

However, our neighborhood is perceived as a rather backwater due to scarcity of cultural events such as musical concerts. These occasions would act as invaluable social hubs for the local residents to come together, socializing and thus bonding with one another.

If I may suggest, I think that the budget should perhaps be allocated on the pupils’ sports team, as majority of parents are concerned about the potential health issues their offspring might be afflicted by. I therefore wonder if you kindly take this pressing matter into consideration, prioritizing the team sponsorship.

Thank you for your attention.

Kind Regards,

Hamed Hajinia

Votes
Average: 9.6 (3 votes)
This essay topic by users
Post date Users Rates Link to Content
2018-07-10 dharmbir321 89 view
Essays by user Hamed H :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 43, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('rather') instead an adjective, or a noun ('backwater') instead of another adjective.
...wever, our neighborhood is perceived as a rather backwater due to scarcity of cultural events such...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, may, regarding, so, therefore, thus, i think, no doubt, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 7.48453608247 134% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 4.92783505155 142% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 5.05154639175 99% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 3.03092783505 99% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 32.9175257732 82% => OK
Preposition: 24.0 26.3917525773 91% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 3.85567010309 104% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1167.0 937.175257732 125% => OK
No of words: 219.0 206.0 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.32876712329 4.54256449028 117% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.84690116678 3.78020617076 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00071924824 2.54303337028 118% => OK
Unique words: 148.0 127.690721649 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.675799086758 0.622605031667 109% => OK
syllable_count: 349.2 290.88556701 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.41237113402 113% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.13402061856 99% => OK
Article: 0.0 0.824742268041 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 1.83505154639 109% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 0.463917525773 647% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 1.44329896907 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 12.6804123711 87% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 16.3608247423 116% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.7322881627 44.8134815571 118% => OK
Chars per sentence: 106.090909091 76.5299724578 139% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9090909091 16.8248392259 118% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.36363636364 4.34317383033 170% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.29896907216 116% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 2.54639175258 39% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 7.41237113402 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 1.49484536082 201% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.94845360825 51% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.152956757237 0.216113520407 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0567295428206 0.0766984524023 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0513047911976 0.0603063233224 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.096642675004 0.12726935374 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0500326419814 0.0580467560999 86% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 8.37731958763 162% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 70.7449484536 74% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 3.82989690722 230% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 7.45979381443 143% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.63 8.71597938144 156% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.48 7.59969072165 125% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 41.2886597938 165% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 8.62886597938 139% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 8.54432989691 112% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 8.15463917526 172% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.