The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children?
Do you think this the best way to deal with the problem?
what other solutions can you suggest?
These days, there are lots of things to do without doing sports. For example, children can enjoy watching TV, playing games, using smartphone, and so on. That is why they have few opportunities to do sports or exercise. As a result, it is said that the number of children who are overweight has increased gradually. Someone say the amount of time that children spend on sport and exercise in schools should be increased to solve this problem. I think it is one of the good way to deal with the problem.
As I said before, it is a nice idea which schools provide a lot of opportunities to do sports and exercise. When schools make some active programs, children have to follow that rules, even if they do not want to do so much. In my opinion, however, it is not the best way to solve the problem. If children come to do sports at schools, their life style which they do not active after coming back from schools may remain unchanged. In other words, the original problem is not solved.
I want to introduce two different solutions. First, children have to improve their eating habits. They must not overeat. They should try to eat lots of vegetables. Second, children have to change their life styles. Nowadays, there are many people who do not decide when they have meals and how long they sleep everyday. If they have bad habits like this, they cannot keep good health conditions.
To summarize the main points, of course, I feel that it is one of the good way that schools improve the amount of exercise time. However, I believe there are a lot of different ways to solve the problem, such as changing children's eating habits and life styles.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-07-16 | kindaiIELTS | 61 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 326, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'saith', 'says'.
Suggestion: saith; says
...weight has increased gradually. Someone say the amount of time that children spend ...
^^^
Line 3, column 311, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...they have meals and how long they sleep everyday. If they have bad habits like this, the...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, however, if, may, second, so, for example, i feel, i think, of course, such as, as a result, in my opinion, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 13.1623246493 91% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 7.85571142285 76% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 10.4138276553 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 7.30460921844 164% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 24.0651302605 133% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 37.0 41.998997996 88% => OK
Nominalization: 0.0 8.3376753507 0% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1355.0 1615.20841683 84% => OK
No of words: 296.0 315.596192385 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.5777027027 5.12529762239 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.14784890444 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.41842579527 2.80592935109 86% => OK
Unique words: 155.0 176.041082164 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.523648648649 0.561755894193 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 410.4 506.74238477 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.60771543086 87% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 5.43587174349 239% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.10420841683 285% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 16.0721442886 124% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.2975951904 69% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.7435549402 49.4020404114 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 67.75 106.682146367 64% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.8 20.7667163134 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.45 7.06120827912 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.9879759519 176% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 3.4128256513 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.314236697052 0.244688304435 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0974685319888 0.084324248473 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0982150969331 0.0667982634062 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.208446502862 0.151304729494 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.128795364972 0.056905535591 226% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.5 13.0946893788 57% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 74.19 50.2224549098 148% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.4 11.3001002004 57% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 8.69 12.4159519038 70% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.62 8.58950901804 77% => OK
difficult_words: 43.0 78.4519038076 55% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 9.78957915832 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.1190380762 75% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.7795591182 74% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.