More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Inveigled by their aroma and the gut’s responsive bleat, people today have been completely ensnared by their favourite fast-food treat. However, this transient decoy comes with its ramifications. The primary causative effect that it causes is a fallacious and unhealthy body mass index of people owing to their obesity. To this, some people peddle forth to increase the selling prices of such fast-food products causing health hazards. However, I would differ from the viewpoint presented. In the subsequent paragraphs, I shall propound my views on the issue.
To begin with, as is rife, modernization has caused and paved the way for the cornered sections of society to be educated, empowered, and employable, and with it, more and more working professionals have come along. With more people entangled in their daily workloads, lesser emphasis has thus naturally been on cooking the meals at home, and more so, the hoopla of managing both have certainly been overwhelming and making one feel work like a trojan. In such a “click and flick” era where a significant number of people may approach their fast-food outlets easily, simply putting a higher price quotation couldn’t ever curb people from consuming and feasting on junk food. More so, as is found in a survey, people falling in the bracket of the upper class with an above-average income, are found to be the steadfast consumers of such packaged and unhealthy meals. Hence, as is pretty comprehensible, raising the prices of these eatables wouldn’t make much of a dent in the pockets of people who may afford them easily.
The wages of people in concomitance to what they could frugally spend would be negligible, even after upheaving the taxes on such edible items. The striking need of the hour is to make people more aware of the cataclysmic causes of having such food that might render them extremely unhealthy and frail. Acknowledging people with the detrimental corollary and pernicious eventualities of having an imbalanced diet and a decrepit BMI may keep them alarmed and watchful of what they are being served or choose to be served with to eat. The health confederations should focus on pragmatic and logical foregrounds where they check the roots of such causes. That would perspicuously mean indoctrinating people and spending providently on such health counselling sessions.
Although putting junk platters on a high tax bracket might, to an extent, mitigate consumption, it couldn’t entirely debase the proliferation of such unhealthy lifestyles that could only get etched in the minds of people upon their being guided and informed.
Hence, to conclude, we may say that increasing the prices and making junk foods expensive couldn’t go in alignment with the idea of keeping people fit and healthy. Rather it is extremely important to enlighten and propagandize the benefits of a sound lifestyle and the malignant denouement of fattening and chemically preserved food.
P.S. This essay is taken from another website. I do not lay any claim to this work but only want to show you all and the e-graders the marvel of this vocabulary soup.
https://ieltspracticeonline.com/writing-task-2-more-and-more-people-are…
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 164, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Rather,
...idea of keeping people fit and healthy. Rather it is extremely important to enlighten ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, hence, however, if, may, so, thus, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 13.1623246493 137% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 7.85571142285 178% => OK
Conjunction : 26.0 10.4138276553 250% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 8.0 7.30460921844 110% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 24.0651302605 141% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 73.0 41.998997996 174% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.3376753507 84% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2717.0 1615.20841683 168% => OK
No of words: 510.0 315.596192385 162% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.32745098039 5.12529762239 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75217629947 4.20363070211 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 4.81865088858 2.80592935109 172% => OK
Unique words: 288.0 176.041082164 164% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.564705882353 0.561755894193 101% => OK
syllable_count: 810.9 506.74238477 160% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 5.0 2.52805611222 198% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 0.809619238477 371% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.76152304609 147% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 16.0721442886 131% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.2975951904 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.1987209565 49.4020404114 124% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.380952381 106.682146367 121% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.2857142857 20.7667163134 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.52380952381 7.06120827912 36% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 7.0 4.38176352705 160% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.9879759519 176% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 3.4128256513 176% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.317563587203 0.244688304435 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.074676967949 0.084324248473 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0518087683561 0.0667982634062 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.15237969152 0.151304729494 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0811190230337 0.056905535591 143% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 13.0946893788 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 50.2224549098 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.3001002004 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.93 12.4159519038 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.38 8.58950901804 109% => OK
difficult_words: 147.0 78.4519038076 187% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 9.78957915832 66% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.1190380762 115% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum five paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.