Q 14 : Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Recently, the question of what factors can contribute to successful life has become the subject of heated debate. Some people assert that devotion to work allows people to live a better life rather than money and appearance, while others argue otherwise. Personally, I wholeheartedly agree with the former stance. In the following essay, both views will be discussed before a conclusion is reached with my opinion.
On the one hand, those who claim that fortunes and appearance are directly related to having an improved standard of living do so for several reasons. Proponents of this argument insist that people from wealthy families can acquire opportunities not only to receive better education but also to operate their own businesses. Moreover, these people are able to invest vast sums of money in the stock market, which could even lead them to earn an astronomical amount of money. Furthermore, in modern society, there are a multitude of influencers who benefits a great deal from their appearance. To be more specific, celebrities, including movie stars as well as fashion model, achieve fame and gain wealth with the development of mass media.
My opinion, however, is that dedication to work plays a vital role in individuals' success. Perhaps the most compelling reason is that working adults who spend huge amounts of time and energy on work can become promoted to a high position at the workplace with greater ease. As an illustration, although Kim Ki-Hun, from South Korea, who was born and raised in a poor area suffered from poverty in childhood, he became a vice president in Samsung owing to his commitment to work. In addition, employees passionate about their occupations are more likely to develop skills and to acquire knowledge related to their jobs, which exerts a positive influence on them building a successful career. In light of the above, I find these more persuasive.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are a variety of opinions about this topic. However, after considering this matter in a careful manner, I fully support the view that dedication to work enables working people to have a high level of successful life for the reasons discussed above.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2024-03-17 | Huyenlbg87 | 84 | view |
| 2022-08-09 | idid382021 | 89 | view |
| 2022-08-07 | idid382021 | 89 | view |
| 2022-08-04 | hellielts | 89 | view |
| 2021-09-19 | idid382002 | 89 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 745, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he above, I find these more persuasive. In conclusion, it is undeniable that the...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ve, I find these more persuasive. In conclusion, it is undeniable that there...
^^
Line 7, column 127, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a careful manner" with adverb for "careful"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... However, after considering this matter in a careful manner, I fully support the view that dedicati...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, moreover, so, well, while, in addition, in conclusion, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 13.1623246493 91% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 7.85571142285 64% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 10.4138276553 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 7.30460921844 178% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 24.0651302605 112% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 41.998997996 143% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 8.3376753507 180% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1846.0 1615.20841683 114% => OK
No of words: 361.0 315.596192385 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.1135734072 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35889894354 4.20363070211 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77766552277 2.80592935109 99% => OK
Unique words: 227.0 176.041082164 129% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.628808864266 0.561755894193 112% => OK
syllable_count: 592.2 506.74238477 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 5.43587174349 147% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.76152304609 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.2975951904 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.2321906251 49.4020404114 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.375 106.682146367 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5625 20.7667163134 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.375 7.06120827912 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.67935871743 138% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.238330047429 0.244688304435 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0671322728276 0.084324248473 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0535815830675 0.0667982634062 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.146032191821 0.151304729494 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0602337302996 0.056905535591 106% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 13.0946893788 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 50.2224549098 98% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 11.3001002004 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.4159519038 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.5 8.58950901804 111% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 78.4519038076 139% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 9.78957915832 77% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.1190380762 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.