The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology.To what extent do you agree?

Essay topics:

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology.

To what extent do you agree?

I agree with the fact that role of education is to prepare children for the modern world but art and music is also the part of modern world, so I believe the curriculum structure should focus on IT subjects but totally ignoring arts and music would not be a right decision.

In today’s world even arts and music is directly linked to IT, where we see new instruments and technology introduced in music which helps to generate better results for the audience, we have lot of examples in front of us in this domain where different softwares and tools has been introduced which helps from recording voices to editing them and to add background music’s and tones to it and then integrating all these together. This all can be done once you know basics of music and then having knowledge of technology to generate best possible results.

Moreover if we look into different from of art like dancing, painting, acting and photography etc we see that all these are somewhat now linked with technology and one must have basic understating of technology to nourish and to better portray their artwork in-front of their audience.

To conclude with, I just want to say that there should be a balance between them and concerning bodies should consider all these facts before designing a curriculum structure for the children and it should be in a way where a child should be able to able to express his his/her interest in any filed either being IT or any other and if a child is opting and performing better in arts field than the structure should support the kid in understanding and learning the basic IT skills to do better in the field where a child want to pursue.

Votes
Average: 6.1 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 3, Rule ID: AGREE_WITH_THE_FACT[1]
Message: Use simply 'agree that'.
Suggestion: agree that
I agree with the fact that role of education is to prepare childre...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 536, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[4]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'generate the best'.
Suggestion: generate the best
... then having knowledge of technology to generate best possible results. Moreover if we l...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...to generate best possible results. Moreover if we look into different from of art l...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 267, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...to better portray their artwork in-front of their audience. To conclude with...
^^
Line 13, column 243, Rule ID: PHRASE_REPETITION[1]
Message: This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only 'able to'.
Suggestion: able to
...uld be in a way where a child should be able to able to express his his/her interest in any fil...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 267, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: his
...child should be able to able to express his his/her interest in any filed either being ...
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, look, moreover, so, then, you know

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 13.1623246493 91% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 7.85571142285 115% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 10.4138276553 192% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 24.0651302605 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 45.0 41.998997996 107% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.3376753507 48% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1392.0 1615.20841683 86% => OK
No of words: 294.0 315.596192385 93% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.73469387755 5.12529762239 92% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.14082457966 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60537334948 2.80592935109 93% => OK
Unique words: 158.0 176.041082164 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.537414965986 0.561755894193 96% => OK
syllable_count: 427.5 506.74238477 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 5.43587174349 74% => OK
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 5.0 16.0721442886 31% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 58.0 20.2975951904 286% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 142.922916287 49.4020404114 289% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 278.4 106.682146367 261% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 58.8 20.7667163134 283% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 9.8 7.06120827912 139% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.01903807615 120% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.67935871743 46% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.227529824254 0.244688304435 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.136538897076 0.084324248473 162% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.147156640911 0.0667982634062 220% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.157929555025 0.151304729494 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.157924177015 0.056905535591 278% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 30.2 13.0946893788 231% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: 21.07 50.2224549098 42% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 7.44779559118 150% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 24.7 11.3001002004 219% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 11.04 12.4159519038 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.68 8.58950901804 113% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 78.4519038076 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 28.0 9.78957915832 286% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 25.2 10.1190380762 249% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 25.0 10.7795591182 232% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.