Some people say that outdoor activities bring benefits to children s development rather than computer games To what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays, outdoor recreation is an option that parents choose for their children. Some people argue that these activities are beneficial to children’s development rather than computer games. I completely agree with this due to the reasons that I give below.
There are many bad effects that computer games have on children. First, children whose eyes glued to the screen could have problems with their eyes. In Vietnam, the rate of children wearing glasses due to being short-sighted is rising recently. Second, spending a range of hours facing the laptop display means that students live a completely sedentary lifestyle. Consequently, the prospects that they would prone to metabolic disorder in the future will increase. Last, our child can get addicted to virtual games, and an unwanted scenario may likely to happen. They not only drop schools but also commit a crime such as a burglary.
So many merits that outdoor activities bring have convinced parents to let their children engage in. In terms of physical health, outdoor recreation is an excellent method that improves your body index. It aids in losing weight, strengthening muscle and improving height as well due to a range of activities such as walking, swimming and skiing. To mental health, these activities are effective relaxation. One of many purposes is letting the hair down after stressful study hours. The time when children doing these activities is also the time when they having a connection with their friends, which results in developing the relationship between them. Hence, they are unlikely to prone to mental states like autism and depression at an early age. Moreover, a proof that outdoor activities are worthwhile to children is that many universities consider them as a plus point. The longer the list of activities is, the more applications have highly assessed.
In conclusion, outdoor activities should be fostered as an approach that keeps children away from the toxic effects of computer games.

Votes
Average: 8.4 (1 vote)
Essays by the user:

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, hence, if, may, moreover, second, so, then, well, while, in conclusion, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 13.1623246493 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 7.85571142285 76% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 10.4138276553 48% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 7.30460921844 205% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 30.0 24.0651302605 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 38.0 41.998997996 90% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.3376753507 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1673.0 1615.20841683 104% => OK
No of words: 319.0 315.596192385 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.24451410658 5.12529762239 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22617688928 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.715189606 2.80592935109 97% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 176.041082164 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.611285266458 0.561755894193 109% => OK
syllable_count: 504.0 506.74238477 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 5.43587174349 110% => OK
Article: 6.0 2.52805611222 237% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 16.0721442886 124% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.2975951904 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 27.9841026299 49.4020404114 57% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 83.65 106.682146367 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.95 20.7667163134 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.55 7.06120827912 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.01903807615 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.9879759519 176% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.239870234338 0.244688304435 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.067931928537 0.084324248473 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.084885314228 0.0667982634062 127% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.160500012856 0.151304729494 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0827153627315 0.056905535591 145% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 13.0946893788 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 50.2224549098 112% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 11.3001002004 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.82 12.4159519038 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.39 8.58950901804 98% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 78.4519038076 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 9.78957915832 72% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.1190380762 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.