Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?One of the best ways that parents can help their teenage children prepare for adult life is to encourage them to take a part-time job.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
The Upbringing of children is a controversial matter as parents always concern about it. People depending on their knowledge and experiences, follow different approaches to develop their children's abilities and help them to be successful in the future. Some parents think taking a part-time job is useful for children as it can make them ready for adult life. However, others stand on the other side of the continuum, believing that it is not a good idea. I, personally, subscribe to the former group for some reason, which I elaborate them upon hereunder.
To begin with, in the progressive today's world experience is the most important factor in individuals' prosperity. Attending into a part-time job, children can unearth their talents which is beneficial for their future life, when they want to choose their career. In this way, they have an opportunity to try different jobs and realize whether they are built for a given occupation or not. For instance, my brother spent a summer working in my uncle's car company. All the time, they were repairing and also boosting the motor of the different cars. He enjoyed that summer and working there. Then, he decided to choose mechanical engineering as his major at university. Additionally, in this circumstance, children can be aware of their weaknesses and strengths. So, they can use these valuable experiences and improve their weaknesses before involving in a job position as an adult.
Second, working part-time, children can earn money. Making money has numerous merits for children. Above all, they learn that if they work hard and be responsible, they can achieve something valuable. To make it more specific, they deeply perceive the concept of a popular proverb, no pain, no gain. Also, there are a lot of children who waste money in different ways, and also they are always complaining about tight budgets. Children who earn money properly know that making money needs hardworking for hours every day, therefore, they try to save money and put a value on that. These children are less likely to spend money on unnecessary things and are more sufficient. A personal example drives this notion home. When I was fifteen, I spent my summer working with my mother who is a tailor. When the school season arrived, my mother paid me some money because of my collaboration. Not only I was cheerful to gain money, but also I learned making money is too hard and saved it.
All in all, with all the reasons into account, I vehemently assert that part-time working is an effective method in children breeding because not only do children find their talent and enhance their experiences but also their point of view about money will be changed so that they put more value on money because they learn it is hard to make it.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 945, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[1]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to make'.
Suggestion: to make
...erful to gain money, but also I learned making money is too hard and saved it. All ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, second, so, then, therefore, for instance, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 52.1666666667 90% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2314.0 1977.66487455 117% => OK
No of words: 469.0 407.700716846 115% => OK
Chars per words: 4.93390191898 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65364457471 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6696918131 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 249.0 212.727598566 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.53091684435 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 720.0 618.680645161 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.260034391 48.9658058833 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.0 100.406767564 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.0384615385 20.6045352989 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.07692307692 5.45110844103 56% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.22825729233 0.236089414692 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0672619231264 0.076458572812 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0817303501326 0.0737576698707 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.167071720134 0.150856017488 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0848409045432 0.0645574589148 131% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.8 11.7677419355 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 58.1214874552 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 10.1575268817 90% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.02 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.2 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 86.8835125448 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.