Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It goes without saying that in this progressive world where we live, every individual should possess one exquisite characteristic- responsibility- in order to overcome the vicissitudes of life. There has been a debate among psychologists over the issue that children will be responsible in the future if the parents teach them how to manage money in the early ages. Personally speaking, I strongly agree with this very notion and hold the opinion that children will learn to be responsible if being taught at young age. The reasons to substantiate my point of view are explored in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, it is no secret to anyone that children are born with a blank slate which means that their mind encompasses nothing and is considered as an empty slate which can be shaped gradually. In this line of thought, children adapt their manner, behavior, and some specific features early in life; among these features, responsibility is the most marked criteria. Should children know how to manage their own money in childhood, it not surprising that they will learn responsibility in later stages of life. To put it in a more vivid picture, when I was nine years old, my mother used to give me an allocated amount of pocket money for a whole week. My mother was of the opinion that I would indirectly learn how to manage my pocket money in order to survive a whole week without being dependent on extra money from my parents. Not only had I to spend my money to buy what I needed, but also I had to save a quota of that money to be used for a rainy day. This presupposition of my parents that I will learn how to be responsible if I know how to manage my money in the childhood helped me to a great extent.
Furthermore, another important point which needs to be clarified is that teaching children how to have a good management skill for the money they receive will eventually leads them to appreciate the value of money besides the positive outcome of responsibility. A study conducted at Arizona State University revealed that the majority of children who were taught in childhood about the value of money, appreciate saving and money much better that their counterparts. Moreover, psychologically speaking, money appreciation will in turn help the person to care about his or her future in order to flourish. Under such a circumstance, it is pivotal to teach children about the management skill in order to enjoy their future much better.
In conclusion, having considered the abovementioned reasons into account, I hold the idea that children will not be responsible in adulthood unless they are being taught how to manage their money in childhood. The appreciation of the value of money and the responsibility they achieve are among the most conspicuous reasons which have been discussed in this essay. Is there any parents who want to raise their children in an inappropriate manner which in turn leads to irresponsibility?
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 171, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'lead'
Suggestion: lead
... the money they receive will eventually leads them to appreciate the value of money b...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 419, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an inappropriate manner" with adverb for "inappropriate"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...arents who want to raise their children in an inappropriate manner which in turn leads to irresponsibility...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, furthermore, if, moreover, so, in conclusion, to begin with, to a great extent
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 15.1003584229 166% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 22.0 11.0286738351 199% => OK
Pronoun: 59.0 43.0788530466 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 83.0 52.1666666667 159% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2448.0 1977.66487455 124% => OK
No of words: 504.0 407.700716846 124% => OK
Chars per words: 4.85714285714 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73813722054 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.93896293774 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 236.0 212.727598566 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.468253968254 0.524837075471 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 782.1 618.680645161 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 39.2884238283 48.9658058833 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.0 100.406767564 135% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.0 20.6045352989 136% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.44444444444 5.45110844103 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.262168191608 0.236089414692 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0935384071713 0.076458572812 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0456348236823 0.0737576698707 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.170918278878 0.150856017488 113% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0333371555623 0.0645574589148 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.5 11.7677419355 132% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.06 58.1214874552 74% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 10.1575268817 140% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.2 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.84 8.01818996416 98% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 86.8835125448 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.