Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, it commonly accepted that unfortunately, the famous people have not enough privacy same another people in the society. Thus most of them want from their follower and other people that they deserve to have the similar privacy to other people. Contrary, to this popular beliefs there are still those who argue that the famous people share their personal information to provide more follower for themselves and they should be preserved their privacy by themselves and public people are not responsible in this case. I, to a great extent, agree with this idea that the famous and athletes deserve more privacy than they have now.
First and foremost, approximately all of the famous people are faced with the problem of lack of their privacy even they who try to save personal detail from social networks and also news. but, a lot of arts or sports journalist and admins of social networks find the personal information of famous people through different ways and transmitting this information in the society to attract young people and achieving more money by this work.
On another significant fact, that should be taken into the consideration is that unfortunately, some of the people want to create hubby for themselves by sharing personal information about famous people. This information can by true or even false. In addition, some others who read this material and more and more transmit this information. This work is just fun for them but they did not think that this behavior can provide horrible happen for celebrities. it may be affected their family life and their vacation condition. Because if for example a d=very bad news spared about the one-star actor and it led to decrease in his favorite between people it led to director do not suggest new work to them. Or their children faced with terrible in the school and with their friends.
On the basis of reasons that mentioned above, I am convinced that the famous people should have better privacy. To, they can have natural life same another people and can save their personal life for themselves.

Votes
Average: 6.1 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 130, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...acy same another people in the society. Thus most of them want from their follower a...
^^^^
Line 2, column 35, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...ow. First and foremost, approximately all of the famous people are faced with the proble...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 190, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...ail from social networks and also news. but, a lot of arts or sports journalist and...
^^^
Line 3, column 97, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...he consideration is that unfortunately, some of the people want to create hubby for themsel...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 460, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...rovide horrible happen for celebrities. it may be affected their family life and t...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, so, still, thus, for example, in addition, to a great extent

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 15.1003584229 53% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 43.0788530466 111% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 52.1666666667 84% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1730.0 1977.66487455 87% => OK
No of words: 348.0 407.700716846 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.97126436782 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31911543099 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52178380895 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 212.727598566 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.491379310345 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 540.9 618.680645161 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.1344086022 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.5600495663 48.9658058833 132% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.333333333 100.406767564 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.2 20.6045352989 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.8 5.45110844103 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.205537483697 0.236089414692 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0872288516426 0.076458572812 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.103912721197 0.0737576698707 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.138499780637 0.150856017488 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0878669673551 0.0645574589148 136% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 11.7677419355 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 58.1214874552 83% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.77 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 86.8835125448 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.0537634409 111% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 61.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.