Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams.
There is a debate surrounding government spending, whether governments should spend more money to support arts than athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams or not. In my view, Neither of them should not be supported by governments for the following reasons.
To begin with, Governments should spend more money on transportation . In Bangkok, the traffic is very terrible. The research found that Bangkok is one of the worst traffic city in the world. From my experience, I have to spend almost one hour a day on road from my home to university. As a result, I usually late for my class. Moreover, when it is raining , I have to spend time on the road for three hours. It is a nightmare of my life! Therefore, I think it would it be better if governments spend money on transportation such as skytrain, subway, and bus. It will encourage people to use public transportation than private vehicle.
In addition, Governments should support on education than art or athletics. Thailand is a developing country, and the education in Thailand is quite bad. In my experience, I was a student who studied in Thailand system. I had to spend my time after school to study by myself almost every night. In weekend, I have to study in tutorial school. Moreover, the education in rural area is worse than urban so much. Some people did not have opportunity to study. Therefore, I think that government should take care and spend more money in education especially in rural area.
To sum up, some people belive that governments should spend more money in support of art and athletics. On the other hand, I belive that governments should spend their money on transportation and education as Thailand is a developing country. How would it be if governments spend almost their money on art and athletics?
- TPO-3 Integrated writing 3
- It is more important for governments to spend money to improve Internet access than to improve public transportation. 60
- Tpo-3 3
- TOEFL T P O 3 Integrated Writing Task 17
- Many people dream of owning their own business but are afraid of the risks Instead of starting a new business however one can buy a franchise A franchise is a license issued by a large usually well known company to a small business owner Under the license 3
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 69, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...hould spend more money on transportation . In Bangkok, the traffic is very terribl...
^^
Line 5, column 357, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...r my class. Moreover, when it is raining , I have to spend time on the road for th...
^^
Line 5, column 637, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ic transportation than private vehicle. In addition, Governments should support ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
if, moreover, so, therefore, i think, in addition, such as, as a result, in my view, to begin with, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 30.0 43.0788530466 70% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 52.1666666667 82% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1501.0 1977.66487455 76% => OK
No of words: 307.0 407.700716846 75% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.88925081433 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18585898806 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95793588408 2.67179642975 111% => OK
Unique words: 143.0 212.727598566 67% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.465798045603 0.524837075471 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 459.0 618.680645161 74% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.1344086022 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.7319028494 48.9658058833 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 71.4761904762 100.406767564 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.619047619 20.6045352989 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.09523809524 5.45110844103 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8709677419 59% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.453821823339 0.236089414692 192% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.13335119116 0.076458572812 174% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.170287857307 0.0737576698707 231% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.33582724584 0.150856017488 223% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.178280186731 0.0645574589148 276% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.9 11.7677419355 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 65.73 58.1214874552 113% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 10.1575268817 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.49 10.9000537634 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.06 8.01818996416 88% => OK
difficult_words: 53.0 86.8835125448 61% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.0537634409 76% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.