Independent TOEFL essay - TPO 4: Agree or disagree: In twenty years, there will be fewer cars in use than there are today. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Considering the pace of modern life, transportation plays a decisive role in saving the time. This often brings up a controversial question: Will the same number of cars be in use in the future or it will be decreased? I myself firmly disagree with the idea that the number of the cars in use will be reduced. I believe that scientific improvements will change the structure of the cars or the way that the cars are used but the amount of usage will not change since the cars are extremely profitable in both social and personal life. In the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on my point of view for explaining why the number of cars in use will not decrease.
The first reason that immediately comes to mind is that the cars are important in every individual's life too. People use cars for different purposes, such as, commuting to work, going on a trip, dealing with an emergency, and any other occasions needing a high speed operation. In addition, the developments lead to higher speed in the life. For instance, I had a heavy schedule two days ago. I had diverse meetings in different locations in the city. I had to drive my own car to attend all the appointments. I wouldn't be able to arrive the meetings on time without driving my own car. Therefore, the cars are useful in every individual's life.
Another equally important reason is that cars are lucrative in social life. Then, why they may be used less. That's to say, the cars are very important in many situations like transportation and emergency occasions. They are utilized in different sections such as agriculture, industry, and services. Although the cars may have some disadvantages like contaminating the environment, cars are beneficial, as recent studies show that the rate of the usage of the cars in the life is growing very fast. That's why I believe that the advantages of cars in everyday life will increase the usage of cars.
As mentioned above, cars pollute the nature and endanger the humans’ health. Air pollution, noisy environment, high temperature and such problems created by cars may be the most important factors that will cause a decrease in cars’ usage. However, the scientific developments can prevent environmental pollutions. For example, recent inventions of electrical car engines avoid air pollution. In addition, new power sources such as solar energy and wind power are new energy sources that scientists are looking for efficient and easy usage of these sources. Thus, scientific developments will increase the number of clean cars.
Decisively, if one contemplates the aforementioned merits and demerits of the cars, one soon realizes that the usage of the cars will never decrease. In fact, scientific developments, the social advantages of cars in every section of the society and the personal advantages of them in every individual's life lead to a higher use rate of cars in the world in the future.
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flaws:
No. of Words: 493 while No. of Different Words: 223
We are expecting:
No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
More sentences varieties wanted. Try to use less pronouns (like 'It, I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence. like:
I had a heavy schedule two days ago.
I had diverse meetings in different locations in the city.
I had to drive my own car to attend all the appointments.
I wouldn't be able to arrive the meetings on time without driving my own car.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 493 350
No. of Characters: 2360 1500
No. of Different Words: 223 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.712 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.787 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.811 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 117 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 92 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.259 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.24 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.63 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.306 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.475 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.091 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5