Some children prefer to socialize (get together and have fun) after school with very little involvement from parents or teachers, for example, they enjoy games or activities that they can organize and play safely without help from adults; Other children prefer to socialize after school by joining groups or participating in programs organized and monitored by adults. Which way of socializing after school do you think is most helpful for children development? Why?
After a long day studying at school, young kids frequently have some free time to attend various activities that can enrich their life. Whether parents should be involved in those programs has been brought to the attention of the public. Relevant authorities are urged that parents should monitor and organize activities that their children join. However, from a personal point of view, I think that playing independently would be more beneficial for the development of children.
Firstly, enjoying games beyond parental supervision can cultivate children’s independence. It is tempting to think that if adults could monitor everything that happened to their kids, there would be no safety problems occurring. However, this is the one side of the story. As a matter of fact, parental involvement is not conducive to the development of youngsters’ independent personality. Because when the youth can organize activities solitarily and figure out all the difficulties that they encounter within the games by themselves, they could grow more quickly and gain achievements. For example, nowadays many kids like to play a kind of game named Civilization, which has numerous intricate levels to go through. When children meet some challenge that they could not work out by themselves, they would try other methods like searching for information on the Internet, asking advice from former players and attempting diverse efforts to overcome them. Eventually, they obtain success and gain a sense of achievement. During this process, the youth exercise their ability to tackle problems and these precious qualities would play a great role in their study.
In addition, without the involvement of outsiders, teenagers could develop deeper friendships. Friends, the people who can share happiness and sorrow and offer solace in the bad times, undoubtedly play an indispensable role in children’s lives. Plus, the ability to build a tight tie with peers can never be neglected. Playing together without parents’ involvement, kids definitely have more chances to talk about their studies, hobbies and even saddest things with each other. As a result, they may find the most appropriate fellows during this time. But if parents show up at the event, there would be another consequence since not all teenagers could tell others the essential parts when their mother or daddy is around. For instance, I have several really good friends. When we were at a young age, we shared our secrets with others, such as the gossip of teachers or even the conflicts with parents without presence of adults. But if parents show up at that moment, they would educate or criticize us. Thanks to that time alone, I built an intimate relationship with them. Therefore, leaving young offspring alone is good for cultivating their friendship.
Admittedly, without protection and monitoring from parents, children may meet some problems like they may get hurt and they may be deceived by strangers. However, if parents could check the safety of the place where the children play to make sure there is no danger and even install surveillance cameras. I do not think there will be much to worry about.
To sum up, from what has been discussed above, I hold the view that parents should not be involved in their children’s activities, just give the youth more free time and also free them up.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 137, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Whether” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... activities that can enrich their life. Whether parents should be involved in those pro...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, really, so, therefore, for example, for instance, i think, in addition, kind of, such as, as a matter of fact, as a result, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 25.0 9.8082437276 255% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 11.0286738351 163% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 43.0788530466 114% => OK
Preposition: 75.0 52.1666666667 144% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 8.0752688172 198% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2825.0 1977.66487455 143% => OK
No of words: 543.0 407.700716846 133% => OK
Chars per words: 5.20257826888 4.8611393121 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.82725184711 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77280923395 2.67179642975 104% => OK
Unique words: 298.0 212.727598566 140% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.548802946593 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 844.2 618.680645161 136% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6003584229 136% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.4767985742 48.9658058833 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.892857143 100.406767564 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3928571429 20.6045352989 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.35714285714 5.45110844103 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 11.8709677419 160% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.331048292178 0.236089414692 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0782573115224 0.076458572812 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0528222329099 0.0737576698707 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.183476379739 0.150856017488 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0489248408184 0.0645574589148 76% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 11.7677419355 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.88 10.9000537634 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.65 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 140.0 86.8835125448 161% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 10.002688172 90% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.