Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Nowadays, parents devote more attention on their children’s educational quality because this is an important aspect of their future life. There are many ways they use to increase children’s quality of learning and ensure their success. One popular solution is to offer money to children for each good grade they get in school, which has detractors and proponents. While many people believe that this way have disadvantage of expressing money more important than it is in real life, I strongly agree with this path and provide two important reason for support.
First, offering children some good prize for what they do well will encourage them to try more and be more successful. The best prize for children will be money so they can use it in their own way under parents’ control. On the other hand, some people may prefer buying study materials such as notebooks, encyclopedia and painting equipment for children as prize for their effort in school. However, I think this can be boring after a while for children and these are not any more interesting enough to worth trying hard for them. So, students become more and more reluctant to study since they don’t enjoy the results of their efforts. For example, I had a friend who was very successful in school at first and always received many prizes from parents and school staff but after six months he suddenly stopped trying that much. Once I talked to him about what had happened, he told me that I don’t like books that my parents give me to admire me and the time I spend for them is more than what I am received. This experience show that how important is the prize granted to children for them and one the most exciting prize is money.
Second, giving money to children helps them to gain ability to manage their own money and affairs and consequently grants them sense of independence and confidence. For instance, when I was in elementary school, I was received 5 dollars for each grade above A that I got in school tests and for competitions that I won. In average, I could have a stable amount of money each month and this turns into the money that I earn from my job like my parents on my mind. I started thinking that I was an adult that could work and have salary. After a while, I could buy anything needed for my own without asking my parents to help and this gives me sense that I can live alone in my childhood world. As you can see, it is beneficial for children to get certain amount of money and better to have it as a result of their own work and efforts.
In conclusion, although offering money to children for their good grade in school has its own opponents and disadvantages, but based on my own experiences, I think this works in a perfect way for children and guarantee their success in school and even higher educational levels.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 169, Rule ID: USE_TO_VERB[1]
Message: Did you mean 'used'?
Suggestion: used
...r future life. There are many ways they use to increase children's quality of ...
^^^
Line 2, column 1041, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'shows'.
Suggestion: shows
...han what I am received. This experience show that how important is the prize granted...
^^^^
Line 4, column 176, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a perfect way" with adverb for "perfect"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... my own experiences, I think this works in a perfect way for children and guarantee their succes...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, however, if, may, second, so, well, while, for example, for instance, i think, in conclusion, such as, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 25.0 13.8261648746 181% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 80.0 43.0788530466 186% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2336.0 1977.66487455 118% => OK
No of words: 504.0 407.700716846 124% => OK
Chars per words: 4.63492063492 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.73813722054 4.48103885553 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57462323598 2.67179642975 96% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 212.727598566 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.480158730159 0.524837075471 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 721.8 618.680645161 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 43.8567928895 48.9658058833 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.947368421 100.406767564 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.5263157895 20.6045352989 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.36842105263 5.45110844103 154% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.421463727683 0.236089414692 179% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.144068001621 0.076458572812 188% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0930407331203 0.0737576698707 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.292075254801 0.150856017488 194% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0336054830834 0.0645574589148 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 11.7677419355 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 62.01 58.1214874552 107% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 10.1575268817 109% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.87 10.9000537634 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.59 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 86.8835125448 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.