TPO 40.
Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Money is a crucial part of everyone's life. When it comes as a gift or incentive it makes happier and gives more energy to do good things. For making a high grade in school is a positive sign for a student as well as for parents. Parents often used to celebrate this type of occasion by giving some money to children as a present. But some parents think that it should not judge a child's merit with money. In my view, offering some money as a benefit of student's result may not deteriorate and it can help to get motivated and obtain more great score in the exam.
Motivation is a crucial part of life to be a successful man and it should come from family or parents. By giving money for any good works obviously give some motivation to work harder. For school-age children, a little money gives them a determination for working or studying more and more. They usually used their money for some games or shopping for some cartoons. If they can do these kinds of things, it will be worked as a refreshment and the source of energy. For instance, when I was young, I used to get some money for every good result and I spent those buying my favorite cartoon books. Therefore, I wanted to buy more and I had only one way to get money. Consequently, I had to make a good score to earn some money from parents.
Making a decent score is one of the most targets of a school student. Every parent helps their children to gain a great mark. To accelerate their journey not only motivation but also giving a gift for overcoming every step of their path. When a child will be gained money as a gift for a good mark, then the child automatically will try to get a higher mark. A gift will be used as a catalyst for the child to gain a great grade. For example, one of my friends was the last boy in our class, he was talented but not getting a good score in the exam. Once his father wanted to give mone to buy a cycle if he became the topper of the class. And it worked as a catalyst and he eventually able to become the toper.
To wrap up, though some parents may think that giving money will make money lovers and crazy, giving motivation and helping to get high grades will defeat the negative thought. That's why giving some gifts or money should give to schoolchildren to enjoy their life for refreshments.
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- TOEFL T P O 12 - Integrated Writing Task 3
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 17, column 178, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: That's
...rades will defeat the negative thought. Thats why giving some gifts or money should g...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, if, may, so, then, therefore, well, as for, for example, for instance, as well as, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 13.8261648746 145% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.0286738351 45% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 34.0 43.0788530466 79% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 52.1666666667 84% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1885.0 1977.66487455 95% => OK
No of words: 435.0 407.700716846 107% => OK
Chars per words: 4.33333333333 4.8611393121 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.56690854021 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.39316196777 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 212.727598566 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.44367816092 0.524837075471 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 603.0 618.680645161 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 30.2485077685 48.9658058833 62% => OK
Chars per sentence: 78.5416666667 100.406767564 78% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.125 20.6045352989 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.91666666667 5.45110844103 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.353790106844 0.236089414692 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.106367092737 0.076458572812 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.064281878035 0.0737576698707 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.23885249652 0.150856017488 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0540686497028 0.0645574589148 84% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.0 11.7677419355 68% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 70.13 58.1214874552 121% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.9 10.1575268817 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.54 10.9000537634 69% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.14 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.