Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
The question is whether parents should offer their school-age children money for each high grade they get in school or not. In my vantage point, this idea is vaporous and it can cause children to be idle. The negative impacts of this behavior can affect on children's future. My arguments and reasons are listed as below that will strengthen my point of view:
First, parents do not allow children to think that studying and getting a great grade is compulsory. Giving money can create an unusual feeling in children toward school and children will look at it as a bank, consequently financial aspects in school-age children will grow. This plight can get worst, because children will expect to receive money or gift for everything which do it.
Second, this offering can have another disadvantage on children even the worse than I mentioned in above. Money will change their mind about studying. In fact they will study for getting good mark not learning. The goal of Memorizing lessons or doing homework will be money and the school will not add any important thing to children's life. These children are the piles of society, and if they enter to society with a rudimentary knowledge, the harmful effects of this idea will continue until next generations.
Third, if parents provide such a situation for their children, it will keep away children from being independent and even happiness. Money will take the peace and happiness from them and the schools will be filled with children who combat for obtaining money.
As I have illustrated, giving money or any things to children not only can grab joy from themselves, but also an illogical view will spread in the society. If you incline to have an unsuccessful kid, surely give money him for gaining high grade.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
giving money or any things to children not only can grab joy from themselves, but also an illogical view will spread in the society.
Description: 'Not only...but also' is not used properly. can you re-write this sentence?
If you incline to have an unsuccessful kid, surely give money him for gaining high grade.
Description: what is the subject for this sentence? can you re-write this sentence?
flaws:
No. of Words: 300 while No. of Different Words: 169
Try to put more content. The more, the better. We are expecting at least:
No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 300 350
No. of Characters: 1435 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.162 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.783 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.445 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 94 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 74 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.067 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.346 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.578 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 248, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
...e negative impacts of this behavior can affect on childrens future. My arguments and reas...
^^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'but', 'consequently', 'first', 'if', 'look', 'second', 'so', 'then', 'third', 'in fact']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.234756097561 0.229887763892 102% => OK
Verbs: 0.173780487805 0.158761421928 109% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0670731707317 0.0866891130778 77% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0396341463415 0.046263068375 86% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0579268292683 0.0685040099705 85% => OK
Prepositions: 0.121951219512 0.118717715034 103% => OK
Participles: 0.0457317073171 0.0351676179071 130% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.50195257083 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0213414634146 0.0309702414327 69% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.00188951952338 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0853658536585 0.0887237588012 96% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0609756097561 0.0209618222197 291% => Less modal verbs wanted (like 'must , shall , will , should , would , can , could , may , and might').
WH_determiners: 0.00609756097561 0.0139019557991 44% => Some subClauses wanted starting by 'Which, Who, What, Whom, Whose.....'
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 1775.0 2387.08602151 74% => OK
No of words: 300.0 408.028673835 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.91666666667 5.86048508987 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.16179145029 4.48200974243 93% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.336666666667 0.338922669872 99% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.253333333333 0.251872472559 101% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.17 0.174417080927 97% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0966666666667 0.112833075102 86% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.50195257083 2.67179642975 94% => OK
Unique words: 172.0 212.727598566 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.573333333333 0.524397521467 109% => OK
Word variations: 61.290202867 59.2087087015 104% => OK
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6684587814 73% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.5533526081 97% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.6660799959 48.84282405 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.333333333 120.699889404 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.0 20.5533526081 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.733333333333 0.644075263715 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.5376344086 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.54480286738 18% => OK
Readability: 45.3333333333 45.7405998639 99% => OK
Elegance: 1.48314606742 1.45489161554 102% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.354669699791 0.300154397459 118% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.0958425870236 0.103427244359 93% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0534893574991 0.0752933317313 71% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.537484081959 0.497263757937 108% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.150092913745 0.151897553556 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.139909258077 0.114077575197 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.123847143864 0.0781384742642 158% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.284802383704 0.336927656856 85% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0674836570038 0.067059652881 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.214292898267 0.210909579961 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0954193461626 0.0618886996521 154% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 11.8870967742 59% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.86379928315 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.91756272401 81% => OK
Positive topic words: 7.0 8.42114695341 83% => OK
Negative topic words: 4.0 2.4623655914 162% => OK
Neutral topic words: 3.0 2.75985663082 109% => OK
Total topic words: 14.0 13.6433691756 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 61.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.5 Out of 30
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.