Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?

With the rapid development of society, education has become a hot issue. Some parents are determined to give money to their children as a gift for obtaining a high score. Personally speaking, it is good idea for parents to give money to their children whenever they have a high score in class. I feel this way for mainly two reasons, which I will explore further in the following paragraphs.

Money plays an important role that this powerful stimulus can possibly encourage students to study hard in school. During the course of study, it is easy for students to feel tedious and tired. If students can receive monetary reward from their parents, they are more likely to fully concentrate on the study or research. My own experience is a compelling example. I began university soon after high school. I couldn't put my heart to study and was unable to get accustomed with campus life because I was addicted to online games. Then, my parents told me that if I can get a high score and perform well in school, they would give me money. This gave me a lot of passion since I wanted to buy the latest iMac. Therefore, I approached my work with diligence and finally I had become the top ranked student in my school. If my parents didn't give me money as a reward, I might not have developed the habit to study so hard.

Moreover, parents giving money to their kids as a reward for a high mark can help the latter develop good financial habit. A student should try to learn how to properly manage money as early as possible. By receiving money from their parents, kids would have such opportunity. My cousin's experience illustrates how important this action is. My cousin is an excellent student until now and he saves the money which comes from his parents. When I asked the reason why he does this, he answers that he has already opened a bank account to deposit this money.

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Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 59, Rule ID: MAY_COULD_POSSIBLY[1]
Message: Use simply 'can'.
Suggestion: can
...ortant role that this powerful stimulus can possibly encourage students to study hard in sch...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 116, Rule ID: DURING_THE_COURSE_OF[1]
Message: Use simply 'During'.
Suggestion: During
...urage students to study hard in school. During the course of study, it is easy for students to feel ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 411, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...an university soon after high school. I couldnt put my heart to study and was unable to...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 833, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...ked student in my school. If my parents didnt give me money as a reward, I might not ...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, if, moreover, so, then, therefore, well, i feel

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 52.1666666667 69% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1540.0 1977.66487455 78% => OK
No of words: 336.0 407.700716846 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.58333333333 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28139028586 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47415781956 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 212.727598566 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.556547619048 0.524837075471 106% => OK
syllable_count: 490.5 618.680645161 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 25.7106981624 48.9658058833 53% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 77.0 100.406767564 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.8 20.6045352989 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.8 5.45110844103 51% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.53405017921 66% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.303057978145 0.236089414692 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0903986678191 0.076458572812 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0865532904351 0.0737576698707 117% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.21444133351 0.150856017488 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0565075778917 0.0645574589148 88% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.5 11.7677419355 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 63.7 58.1214874552 110% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.4 10.1575268817 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.99 10.9000537634 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.72 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 86.8835125448 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Minimum four paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.