Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
Today there is no shortage of debate that parents should encourage their children for their great school grades with the sum of money. However, a lot of people have opposite point of view because they suppose that this action will develop negative trates of children`s character. Moreover, kids probably will not do something without rewards. From, my point of view, I think that it is a good idea to give money to children for their achievements and I feel this way for some reasons.
First of all, this reward system will have a positive affect on kids studying. it is common knowledge that when children know that they will be encourage if they perform some tasks perfectly, they will try their best to do it. Furthermore, kids often hate school and any kind of difficult tasks, but with reward system for their high school results kids will make a large number of efforts to complete their assignments and obtain some types of rewards. For example, I used to skip my classes because there were a lot of intricate tasks. In addition, I used to have low school grades. Fortunately, when my parents decided to pay me for my excellent grades, my results dramatically increased. For this reason, I suppose that it will be beneficial to pay children for their high marks.
Secondly, there are a small number of employers which hire young people. it goes without saying that children who study at school can not find any work. Also, it is definitely true that not all parents give some pocket money for their kids. so, it seems to be quite complicated for them to save money for their additional needs such as buying sweets or visiting zoo. According to my personal experience, my parents have never given me pocket money, so I could not afford me to purchase an expencive and disirable toy. Later, when my grades became high and my parents rewarded me, I saved enough money to buy something for myself. this was a one more reason which prove my opinion.
By the way of conclusion, based on arguments explored above, I would like to say that all parents should choose appropriate way for encouraging tier children, but I am strongly convinced that money rewarding is vital and apt for all parents.
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- tpo25 80
- TPO48 Integrated Writing 80
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 55, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
...this reward system will have a positive affect on kids studying. it is common knowledge t...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 80, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ave a positive affect on kids studying. it is common knowledge that when children...
^^
Line 3, column 107, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ds studying. it is common knowledge that when children know that they will be enc...
^^
Line 3, column 366, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...heir high school results kids will make a large number of efforts to complete their assignments a...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 21, Rule ID: SMALL_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, use 'a few', or use 'some'
Suggestion: a few; some
...heir high marks. Secondly, there are a small number of employers which hire young people. it g...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 74, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...r of employers which hire young people. it goes without saying that children who s...
^^
Line 5, column 207, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...efinitely true that not all parents give some pocket money for their kids. so, it...
^^
Line 5, column 243, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...give some pocket money for their kids. so, it seems to be quite complicated for t...
^^
Line 5, column 632, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...ough money to buy something for myself. this was a one more reason which prove my op...
^^^^
Line 7, column 113, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to appropriate'
Suggestion: to appropriate
...e to say that all parents should choose appropriate way for encouraging tier children, but ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, for example, i feel, i suppose, i think, in addition, kind of, such as, by the way, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 60.0 43.0788530466 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 39.0 52.1666666667 75% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1825.0 1977.66487455 92% => OK
No of words: 384.0 407.700716846 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.75260416667 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4267276788 4.48103885553 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5316665788 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 212.727598566 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.549479166667 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 558.0 618.680645161 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 9.59856630824 167% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 52.0817597177 48.9658058833 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.0526315789 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2105263158 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.05263157895 5.45110844103 166% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.5376344086 181% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.37330282761 0.236089414692 158% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.114367436406 0.076458572812 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0843416508687 0.0737576698707 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.233703330739 0.150856017488 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0963087764023 0.0645574589148 149% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.27 10.9000537634 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.04 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 86.8835125448 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.