Some people like to keep a record of their own experiences by uploading pictures and other information to social-networking sites. Other people prefer not to create such records
Which approach do you prefer, and why?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
With the development of Internet services, individuals are not reluctant to keep digital records in social-networking services, SNS, and look back to them whenever they want. However, many problems in regard to the privacy protection or the ethics of the Internet usage had also arose with it. When it comes to the question whether sharing photos and other information of memorial moments onto social-networking services is preferable, individuals’ opinions differ from person to person. While some believe that posting such photos on the Internet to share feelings to the whole world colors their lives up, I, on the contrary, contend that it is no better to keep these details of experiences on my own.
To commence with, one of the most compelling reasons in advocacy of the thesis is that posting photos and information on the Internet is always inextricably intertwined with security problems. Since these sites are usually allowed to be seen by people all over the world, the risk of one’s personal information to be taken by others is inevitable. Also, once a photo is uploaded on the Internet, anyone can save it so that it is impossible to delete it from the Internet even if you tried. Take a real incident occurred in Japan as an instance. There was a teenaged girl who posted a photo of her face onto the SNS just like other teenage girls do to keep a record of their happy moments. However, one Internet user had found her house by looking at a reflected picture of her house and the neighborhood which were projected onto the girl’s eyes. This example tells us that any slight detail of posts on the SNS might expose users to enormous risks of privacy invasion.
What is more, the addiction to crave compliments for the posts on the social-networking services eventually make individuals lose important morals. With the prevailing of the social-networking services, many people had appreciated receiving many compliments from anonymous people on the Internet. They started to feel as if they were famous celebrities or fashion icons, so that they start to crave more of compliments and likes through posting more aesthetic photos on the Internet, regardless of how it looks ridiculous to pursuit a beauty in camera frames rather than what it exactly looks like. For instance, many shops that serve beautifully decorated sweets recentlysuffer from consumers who are totally addicted to the SNS for only taking beautiful pictures of the food and never actually eat it. As a result, not only the customers had lost the ethics and manner they should pay to the food or the shop, but also they had harmed the environment badly for wasting energy of cooking and food resources.
Indeed, it does feel nice to share the wonderful moments with friends on the Internet. Also, it is worth to mention that the SNS is especially beneficial for those people who share their artworks and eventually get chances to get their art talents recognized by the whole world easily. On the other hand , the fact that there are still many opportunities to receive bad comments is undisputable. Thus, it is not always good to share their works to the Internet.
In conclusion, although it is undeniable that the records kept on social-networking sites are easy to be looked up and meaningful for sharing fantastic experiences to others, the drawbacks of them far outweighs the benefits. What we all should do is to keep paying attention to the network ethics and privacy policies while enjoying the moment-sharing services.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 134, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ords in social-networking services, SNS, and look back to them whenever they want...
^^
Line 1, column 282, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'arisen'.
Suggestion: arisen
...e ethics of the Internet usage had also arose with it. When it comes to the question ...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 314, Rule ID: WHETHER[5]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "the question"?
Suggestion: whether
...ad also arose with it. When it comes to the question whether sharing photos and other information of...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 770, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... house by looking at a reflected picture of her house and the neighborhood which...
^^
Line 2, column 805, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...cture of her house and the neighborhood which were projected onto the girl’s eye...
^^
Line 3, column 335, Rule ID: FAMOUS_CELEBRITY[1]
Message: Use simply 'celebrities'.
Suggestion: celebrities
...t. They started to feel as if they were famous celebrities or fashion icons, so that they start to...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 559, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ous to pursuit a beauty in camera frames rather than what it exactly looks like. ...
^^
Line 3, column 665, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... that serve beautifully decorated sweets recentlysuffer from consumers who are to...
^^
Line 4, column 130, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...lso, it is worth to mention that the SNS is especially beneficial for those peop...
^^
Line 4, column 134, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... it is worth to mention that the SNS is especially beneficial for those people w...
^^
Line 4, column 307, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...he whole world easily. On the other hand , the fact that there are still many oppo...
^^
Line 5, column 103, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t on social-networking sites are easy to be looked up and meaningful for sharing ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, however, if, look, so, still, thus, while, for instance, in conclusion, as a result, in regard to, on the contrary, what is more, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 15.1003584229 166% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 90.0 52.1666666667 173% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 8.0752688172 161% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2935.0 1977.66487455 148% => OK
No of words: 588.0 407.700716846 144% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.99149659864 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.9242980521 4.48103885553 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90988622315 2.67179642975 109% => OK
Unique words: 304.0 212.727598566 143% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.517006802721 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 918.9 618.680645161 149% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 55.8585137085 48.9658058833 114% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.409090909 100.406767564 133% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.7272727273 20.6045352989 130% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.63636363636 5.45110844103 140% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.5376344086 217% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.200993305762 0.236089414692 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0551882298087 0.076458572812 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0444871560475 0.0737576698707 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.113367677204 0.150856017488 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0368661188069 0.0645574589148 57% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 11.7677419355 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 58.1214874552 78% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.96 10.9000537634 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.71 8.01818996416 109% => OK
difficult_words: 141.0 86.8835125448 162% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.