TPO 40 Independent
Being intellectual in today's world is an inevitable fact that neither rich families nor poor classes of society, can ignore it. To be an educated person needs to have motivation and aim in life. It may be difficult for school-age children to determine their exact goal in life. In this age, parents have a vital role in guiding them to choose their life's path and shape their bright future. Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade they get in school. Others think that offering money is not a good way to praise their children. I firmly agree with the latter one. The following paragraphs will aptly vindicate my point of view.
The most prominent point to be mentioned is that, children should know that being intellectual is a need in today's life. In other word, studying is their responsibility in this age and they should try their best to do it well. If a child believes this fact, there will not be a need to encourage them to gain a good mark at school. As an example, I remember one of my friends at elementary school who was reluctant to study and she wanted to be an artist. She did not pay attention to school's lessons. In this regard, her parents were so worried about her and they tried to encourage her doing well in her studying too. Therefore, they offered her daughter money for each high mark she gets in school. In the first month of their decision, she was so encouraged and tried so much to get good marks, but after a while she got tired of just studying to get money. This means that it is necessary to make children aware of their responsibilities not just force them to do their responsibilities.
Furthermore, it is established beyond doubt that just getting a high mark at school is not a good criteria of success. There is a myriad of factors that determine one is a successful person or not. That is to say, a child who just try to get a high mark at school, may not pay attention to do well at practical works in future. As a result, he/she will not find a good job in future. Recent studies have revealed that 65% of the students who just got high marks, cannot do well at their job in comparison to the students who got mediocre grades during their educational time. Hence, Parents have pivotal role in encouraging their children to be a useful person for society.
Taking all the aforementioned into account, it can be concluded that it is wise to help students know their responsibility in society and encourage them to do it as well as they can. Since offering money for high grades just make students conditional, it is not an acceptable way to help them shape their future.
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- TPO 40 Independent 3
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 99, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'criterion'?
Suggestion: criterion
...ing a high mark at school is not a good criteria of success. There is a myriad of factor...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 318, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...attention to do well at practical works in future. As a result, he/she will not find a go...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 374, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...result, he/she will not find a good job in future. Recent studies have revealed that 65% ...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, hence, if, may, so, therefore, well, while, as a result, as well as, that is to say
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 15.1003584229 166% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 13.8261648746 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 65.0 43.0788530466 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 65.0 52.1666666667 125% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2168.0 1977.66487455 110% => OK
No of words: 479.0 407.700716846 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.5260960334 4.8611393121 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67825486995 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61667517783 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.44885177453 0.524837075471 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 664.2 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.2926415908 48.9658058833 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.72 100.406767564 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.16 20.6045352989 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.32 5.45110844103 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0 0.236089414692 0% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0 0.076458572812 0% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0737576698707 0% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0 0.150856017488 0% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0 0.0645574589148 0% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.5 11.7677419355 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.99 10.9000537634 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.12 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 86.8835125448 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.