TPO 40.
Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea?
No one can deny that there are both positive and negative aspects of rewarding children with money for performing well in their academics. if I were forced to choose, I believe that students should be rewarded with money for obtaining a high grade in school. I firmly believe that the students would benefit, if they were rewarded with money for their academic achievements due to several reasons, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin with, offering money to school children for achieving high marks in test will instill in them , a sense of incentive for performing well. it will help the kids understand that they are being rewarded for their hard work and achievements, and hence, motivate them to perform well in their future examinations. rewarding the children with money will also give them the freedom to make their own choices and decide to buy whatever they want with the money, and hence, allow them to understand importance of financial management. I have to admit that my opinion on this subject is strongly influenced by my own personal experiences. For example, since I was a kid, my parents would always reward me with toys or money for performing well in my tests. this culture of rewarding motivated me to study well and put in longer hours of work to improve my scores. it helped me alleviate the pain and endurance during exam time, since, I knew that performing well would result in me being awarded with money. Moreover, as I got into higher classes, it helped me cope up with studies much better than the other students who had not put in the same effort as me during their childhood. For this reason, I believe that parents should reward their kids with money for performing well in their academics. if my parents had not rewarded me regularly for my hard work, I wouldn't have realized the importance of studying well.
Secondly, monetizing students' achievements in school will help the students in realizing how the real world works. since, the world runs on money, the students will understand the importance of money and the role money plays. students will realize that, in order to earn money, it is important for them to work hard and put in their best efforts, otherwise, they cannot succeed in life. Furthermore, it will also prepare the kids for their future roles in various fields of work. Drawing from my personal experience, my cousin's parents always bought him gifts and toys from a very young age, only if he scored good marks. one time, when my cousin performed poorly in his test, his parents did not bring him any gifts, though, he was very persistent and made a fuss. this example helped him realize that he would be rewarded only if he performed well. Therefore, it also helped in his career development and is now the youngest CEO of a multi-billion dollar company. if his parents hadn't helped him realize the importance of hard work through rewarding him, he wouldn't have peaked well in his career.
In light of the above mentioned reasons, I strongly believe that students should be rewarded with money for obtaining high grade in their school or college since, it provides them an incentive to perform well and also motivate them to work hard.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 140, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...for performing well in their academics. if I were forced to choose, I believe that...
^^
Line 7, column 103, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... high marks in test will instill in them , a sense of incentive for performing wel...
^^
Line 7, column 148, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...sense of incentive for performing well. it will help the kids understand that they...
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Line 7, column 319, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Rewarding
...form well in their future examinations. rewarding the children with money will also give ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 757, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
... money for performing well in my tests. this culture of rewarding motivated me to st...
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Line 7, column 864, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ger hours of work to improve my scores. it helped me alleviate the pain and endura...
^^
Line 7, column 1299, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...for performing well in their academics. if my parents had not rewarded me regularl...
^^
Line 7, column 1363, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...warded me regularly for my hard work, I wouldnt have realized the importance of studyin...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 116, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Since
... in realizing how the real world works. since, the world runs on money, the students ...
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Line 13, column 227, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: Students
...ance of money and the role money plays. students will realize that, in order to earn mon...
^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 623, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: One
...oung age, only if he scored good marks. one time, when my cousin performed poorly i...
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Line 13, column 767, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: This
...he was very persistent and made a fuss. this example helped him realize that he woul...
^^^^
Line 13, column 967, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
... CEO of a multi-billion dollar company. if his parents hadnt helped him realize th...
^^
Line 13, column 982, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: hadn't
...-billion dollar company. if his parents hadnt helped him realize the importance of ha...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 1061, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
... of hard work through rewarding him, he wouldnt have peaked well in his career. ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, furthermore, hence, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, still, therefore, well, for example, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 87.0 43.0788530466 202% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 72.0 52.1666666667 138% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2691.0 1977.66487455 136% => OK
No of words: 557.0 407.700716846 137% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.83123877917 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.85807034144 4.48103885553 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52498212744 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 243.0 212.727598566 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.436265709156 0.524837075471 83% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 812.7 618.680645161 131% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 22.0 9.59856630824 229% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.1195637073 48.9658058833 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.0 100.406767564 117% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.2173913043 20.6045352989 118% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.86956521739 5.45110844103 89% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 15.0 5.5376344086 271% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 20.0 11.8709677419 168% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.216424301769 0.236089414692 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0795409621694 0.076458572812 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0620297444605 0.0737576698707 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.156433285795 0.150856017488 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0338325334655 0.0645574589148 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 11.7677419355 114% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 58.1214874552 96% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.03 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.46 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 86.8835125448 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 10.002688172 135% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.