TPO-46 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and exam

Agreement or disagreement with the proposed statement needs a comprehensive study of the psychological aspects of the human kind and the effect of the age on our behaviors. The majority of the psychologists have argued that the age of a person can determine the types of his or her behaviors. In addition, many of the parents might be a fan of a few celebrities in their youth period. As far as I’m concerned, I think the young people are too affected by the celebrities’ opinions rather than the old peoples. The following paragraphs aptly elucidate my perspective on this topic.

First of all, in the youth, a huge number of individuals experience a kind of diverse emotions in comparison to their childhood. Cleary, all of us had the similar senses in their life through passing from childhood to adulthood. In this specific time, young people think that the celebrities are superb peoples and they know everything about life, science, culture and etc. So young people usually affected by them and insist on their opinions; however, that opinions may be wrong. By the way of example, in the puberty, I thought the Seraj, one of the renowned musicians in Iran, was the best musician in the world and when he talked with the press or participated in the tv programs I watched them carefully. So in this way, I followed his steps as I thought that the way of success exclusively belonged to him. Indeed, my parents advised me to think about my life logically and weren’t be affected by his way, nevertheless I opposed them and persisted in my decision. After a while, when my emotions became balanced I grasped my thoughts were wrong and consequently, I changed my way towards my own preferred interests. Therefore, the young people may be affected by their fans.

Another Important reason is that the young people usually have less experience than their parents and older people. The old peoples have seen a vast number of hardships in their life. Through those thoughts, they can see beyond every issue and in the result, they can make the decision more confidently than the young peoples. To illustrate it more, it should be noted that the psychologists have found that the human mind alters after each critical situation. According to their newest finding in the Brain lab at the University of Tehran, a specific part of the human brain is responsible for the decision-making. They investigated the brain of 100 individuals before and after a critical event. Researchers gave them a letter which was about a grief or disaster. After reading that news they believed the event and became anxious so in this way, they were placed in a virtual hardship. At last the researchers examined the results and consequently reached to the mentioned statement. In the other word, they explained the specific type of alternation through the hypothesis which is about the relationship between the brain changing and hearing the bad news. Consequently, the brain of old peoples may have plenty of the modifications and so it can be responsible for their more authentic decisions rather than young peoples. So they probably are affected by the celebrities on account of their lack of the rich experiences.

In brief, with the aforementioned reasons, I can adopt a firm position that the young people maybe follow the celebrities’ opinions and influenced by them more than old people. Of course, the above-mentioned reasons are only part of the story and the decisive description needs extra information.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 367, Rule ID: AND_ETC[1]
Message: Use simply 'etc.'.
Suggestion: etc.
...everything about life, science, culture and etc. So young people usually affected by the...
^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, however, if, may, nevertheless, so, then, therefore, while, i think, in addition, in brief, kind of, of course, by the way, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 67.0 43.0788530466 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 83.0 52.1666666667 159% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 8.0752688172 149% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2934.0 1977.66487455 148% => OK
No of words: 588.0 407.700716846 144% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.98979591837 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.9242980521 4.48103885553 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98046922751 2.67179642975 112% => OK
Unique words: 278.0 212.727598566 131% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.472789115646 0.524837075471 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 904.5 618.680645161 146% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 8.0 3.08781362007 259% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 15.0 4.94265232975 303% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 20.6003584229 136% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.7293137034 48.9658058833 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.785714286 100.406767564 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0 20.6045352989 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.60714285714 5.45110844103 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 3.85842293907 285% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.150542970221 0.236089414692 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0423808812745 0.076458572812 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0431750138679 0.0737576698707 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102913805128 0.150856017488 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0383672381833 0.0645574589148 59% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 11.7677419355 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 10.9000537634 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.44 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 140.0 86.8835125448 161% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.