International entertainers, including sports personalities, often get paid millions of dollars in one year.
In your view, with widespread poverty in the world, are these huge earnings justified?
The salaries of many singers,dancers and sport people have increased in recent years,while many people are hungry to death in Africa and Asia. But, I do not deny that getting more salary, either, depends on person’s talent and skill.
Some of the international entertainers spent their money for poor countries or poor societies. This is very important for poor countries because they need living expenses. Their government do not have good economic structure and it can not help population. For instance,Mario Balotelli who is football player of Italy National Team and also Liverpool Football club make economic help to African countries such as Somali ,Niger, Kongo and so on. Some media news informs Mario spend less money for him than African people.He uses his talent and get money,then give it poor people, is this not justified?!
On the other hand, people get money and waste it only themselves and do not help other poor people,naturally,it is not fairly.They buy many cars or homes which they do not need everyday life. For example,the past leader of Iran,Muhammad Khomayni, who had over 50 billions of dollars, but all people know he did not make help other countries or poor societies. He only spent his money for himself and his family, it is unjustified because many people need this money for only living expenses, like clothes,bread and home.
In conclude,it is clear that world poverty is a serious problem.Not only international entertainers, but also rich and famous companies must help to poor societies.
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Their government do not have good economic structure
Their government does not have good economic structure
who is football player
who is a football player
they do not need everyday life
they do not need in everyday life
Sentence: Some media news informs Mario spend less money for him than African people.He uses his talent and get money,then give it poor people, is this not justified?
Description: The fragment Mario spend less is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace spend with verb, past tense
Sentence: In conclude,it is clear that world poverty is a serious problem.Not only international entertainers, but also rich and famous companies must help to poor societies.
Description: A preposition is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to In and conclude
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Attribute Value Ideal
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Category: Satisfactory Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
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No. of Words: 263 350
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.027 4.7
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Sentence Length SD: 8.05 7.5
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Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.617 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.138 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5