People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Todays, one of the controversial issues in social sciences is that how peoples’ behaviour could be formed and what cause them to behave in a particular way and manner? Do such behaviours can be enforced by some foreign resources or, in contrast, they are made by people, themselves?
First I should clarify what is my perception of people’s behaviour? In my opinion it refers to how people act , ordinarily, in different situations like shopping, driving, opposing, happiness and etc. Now what is the most influential factor on a human behaviours?
In case of forces,an example that can be mentioned is that,in all nations, governments try to make some bahaviours common among people by regulating some rules that promulgate or forbid an especial act, explicitly, or instill a trait via demonstrating it in movies or shows, implicitly. For example, driving rules or prohibition of smoking in public places, and most the times these programs were successful and through years people behave based on those rules, commonly. But the considerable point in such cases is that even the origin of these kinds of bahaviours would back to peoples’ determination to comply with regulations. If they don’t want, they don’t obey the rules, as breaking such rules occur all over the world,occasionally. Although, sometimes people behave under a rule because they are intimidated by authorities but it cannot be effective enough to prevent people from doing something, completely. Like what has happened about forbidding alcoholic drinks in Iran. It is illegal in any place and condition but many people use such drinks in their parties and ceremonies, of course, furtively.
Further, legislation and forces cannot control all aspects of people behavior like how they behave in their personal environments. Traits and treatments could be taught but not obliged easily.
In conclusion ,Although the role of foreign forces cannot be ignored in shaping peoples’ bahaviour, but only bahaviours will get accepted by people by forces which satisfy peoples’ expectations and values. So, the masses’ overall behaviour will be made by their own.
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Although the role of foreign forces cannot be ignored in shaping peoples’ bahaviour, but only bahaviours will ....
Description: don't put 'although' 'but' in one sentence.
flaws:
No. of Words: 343 350
More content wanted in the fourth paragraph.
For issue essays, around 450 words, for argument essays, around 400 words.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 343 350
No. of Characters: 1728 1500
No. of Different Words: 201 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.304 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.038 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.781 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 136 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.867 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.019 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.313 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.565 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.039 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5