The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing.
"Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high-quality wool fabric, we discontinued production of our deluxe alpaca overcoats.
Now that we have a new fabric supplier, we should resume production. This coat should sell very well: since we have not offered an alpaca overcoat for
five years and since our major competitor no longer makes an alpaca overcoat, there will be pent-up customer demand.
Also, since the price of most types of clothing has risen in each of the past five years, customers should be willing to pay
significantly higher prices for alpaca overcoats than they did five years ago, and our company profits will increase."
In this memo the vice president of Sartorian, a clothing manufacturer, argues that by resuming production of alpaca (wool) overcoats, after discontinuing production of these coats five years
159
ago due to an unreliable alpaca supply, Sartorian would increase its profits. To support this argument the vice president points out that Sartorian now has a new fabric supplier, and reasons that since Sartorian's chief competitor has discontinued making these coats there must be pent-up consumer demand for them which Sartorian would fill. The vice president also reasons that, since overall dothing prices have risen in each of the last five years, consumers will be willing to pay higher prices for Sartorian's alpaca coats. I find the argument specious in several respects. To begin with, the argument relies on the assumption that the new fabric supplier will be a reliable supplier of alpaca. Yet the memo provides no substantiating evidence for this assumption. Perhaps the supply problems Sartorian experienced years earlier were attributable not to its supplier at the time but rather to factors beyond any supplier's control and which might render the alpaca supply unreliable today as well. Besides, without evidence to the contrary it is entirely possible that Sartorian's new supplier will turn out to be unreliable and to be blameworthy for that unreliability. Even if the new supplier turns out to be reliable, the memo assumes too hastily, on the basis of a competitor's discontinuing alpaca coat production, that consumer demand for alpaca coats made by Sartorian is now pent-up. Perhaps that competitor stopped making alpaca coats due to diminishing consumer demand for them. Or, perhaps other clothing manufacturers are now beginning to fill the market void by producing similar coats. Either of these scenarios, if true, would cast serious doubt on the vice president's claim that there is now pent-up alpaca coat demand from which Sartorian would profit. Even if the vice president can substantiate the two foregoing assumptions, the argument relies on the additional assumption that consumers will be willing to pay whatever price Sartorian requires to turn a profit on its alpaca coat sales. Yet, perhaps Sartorian's costs for alpaca wool will be so high as to preclude any profit from alpaca coat sales. Also, the fact that clothing prices have been steadily increasing for five years suggests that consumers might have less disposable income for purchasing items such as alpaca coats, espedally if consumers' income has not kept pace with escalating prices. Thus without stronger evidence that consumers would be both willing and able to pay high prices for Sartorian's alpaca coats the vice president cannot convince me that the proposed course of action would be a profitable one. Finally, even if Sartorian would turn a profit from the sale of its alpaca coats, the memo's claim that the company's overall profits would increase thereby is unwarranted. Sartorian's overall profitability is a function of revenue and expenses relating to all of Sartorian's products. Since the memo provides no evidence that Sartorian will continue to be profitable in other respects, I simply cannot take the vice president's argument seriously. In sum, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it the vice president must provide assurances that the new supplier will be a reliable and affordable alpaca supplier, and that consumers will be able and willing to pay whatever prices Sartorian requires in order to mm a profit from selling its alpaca coats. To better assess the argument I would need to know whether consumers are demanding alpaca coats anymore, and if so whether new competitors entering the alpaca coat market would thwart Sartorian's efforts to profit from any pent-up demand for these coats. I would also need detailed financial projections for Sartorian, to determine the likelihood that it will continue to be profitable overall, aside from its predicted
160
profitability from alpaca coat sales.
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- The following appeared in a memo from the new vice president of Sartorian, a company that manufactures men's clothing."Five years ago, at a time when we had difficulties in obtaining reliable supplies of high-quality wool fabric, we discontinued productio 50
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 189, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ing production of these coats five years 159 ago due to an unreliable alpaca sup...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1174, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... be blameworthy for that unreliability. Even if the new supplier turns out to be...
^^
Line 3, column 1273, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a competitor' or simply 'competitors'?
Suggestion: a competitor; competitors
...mo assumes too hastily, on the basis of a competitors discontinuing alpaca coat production, t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1775, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...mand from which Sartorian would profit. Even if the vice president can substanti...
^^
Line 3, column 1973, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'turning'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: turning
...o pay whatever price Sartorian requires to turn a profit on its alpaca coat sales. Yet,...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 2382, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...s not kept pace with escalating prices. Thus without stronger evidence that consumer...
^^^^
Line 3, column 2606, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...se of action would be a profitable one. Finally, even if Sartorian would turn a ...
^^
Line 3, column 3052, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the vice presidents argument seriously. In sum, the argument is unpersuasive as ...
^^
Line 3, column 3794, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...itable overall, aside from its predicted 160 profitability from alpaca coat sale...
^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'besides', 'but', 'finally', 'if', 'so', 'thus', 'well', 'as to', 'such as', 'to begin with']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.261183261183 0.25644967241 102% => OK
Verbs: 0.147186147186 0.15541462614 95% => OK
Adjectives: 0.109668109668 0.0836205057962 131% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0519480519481 0.0520304965353 100% => OK
Pronouns: 0.024531024531 0.0272364105082 90% => OK
Prepositions: 0.121212121212 0.125424944231 97% => OK
Participles: 0.034632034632 0.0416121511921 83% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.76956028959 2.79052419416 99% => OK
Infinitives: 0.037518037518 0.026700313972 141% => OK
Particles: 0.004329004329 0.001811407834 239% => OK
Determiners: 0.0923520923521 0.113004496875 82% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.038961038961 0.0255425247493 153% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00865800865801 0.0127820249294 68% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 4038.0 2731.13054187 148% => OK
No of words: 641.0 446.07635468 144% => OK
Chars per words: 6.29953198128 6.12365571057 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.0316973083 4.57801047555 110% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.418096723869 0.378187486979 111% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.307332293292 0.287650121315 107% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.241809672387 0.208842608468 116% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.148205928237 0.135150697306 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.76956028959 2.79052419416 99% => OK
Unique words: 262.0 207.018472906 127% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.408736349454 0.469332199767 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 49.849369199 52.1807786196 96% => OK
How many sentences: 23.0 20.039408867 115% => OK
Sentence length: 27.8695652174 23.2022227129 120% => OK
Sentence length SD: 71.1012483971 57.7814097925 123% => OK
Chars per sentence: 175.565217391 141.986410481 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.8695652174 23.2022227129 120% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.478260869565 0.724660767414 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 5.14285714286 58% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 9.0 3.58251231527 251% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 58.6027945466 51.9672348444 113% => OK
Elegance: 1.86451612903 1.8405768891 101% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.256134891116 0.441005458295 58% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.127351065837 0.135418324435 94% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0573257519647 0.0829849096947 69% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.482483008188 0.58762219726 82% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.207181135777 0.147661913831 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.116935495864 0.193483328276 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0564453038488 0.0970749176394 58% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.221155078345 0.42659136922 52% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0709347022515 0.0774707102158 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.192233150118 0.312017818177 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.115239389994 0.0698173142475 165% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.33743842365 108% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 11.0 6.87684729064 160% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.82512315271 62% => OK
Positive topic words: 8.0 6.46551724138 124% => OK
Negative topic words: 10.0 5.36822660099 186% => OK
Neutral topic words: 2.0 2.82389162562 71% => OK
Total topic words: 20.0 14.657635468 136% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.