The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.
"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The arguments states that jazz music club if established in monroe city will gain profits according to many evidences and asssumptions.However this argument is unwarranted and has many flaws.
To begin with,the number of 100,00 people attending monroe annual jazz last summer does not gives us the evidence that same amount of people will visit this summer too.It might be possibility that 100,00 people or less than that may get better jazz entertainment in some other city with lower price.Opening a jazz club on this assumption that same number of people will visit monroe city does not hold ground.Morever,if it would have provided with exact nature of crowd and theier idea of jazz intrest will further add evidence on opening buissiness in monroe is profitable or not.
Addition to it,the context elucidates that monroe has several jazz musician and jazz night aired every weekends.Having available option to demographic of monroe,why would people prefer jazz music club over available aired jazz music?Why would people spend money in club? if jazz entertainment is freely available on air.By just assuming that quantity of people intrested in jazz entertainment will give evidence that they will choose to be entertain in jazz club,is just unstated.Furthermore, having such a competitions,running a jazz club is risky buissiness.If there would be a case in which newly open jazz club provides free vouchers and discount on music club,this will make people jump over jazz entertained air to club.
Even assuming that fans spends $1000 per year on jazz entertainment does not gives evidence that same fan spends money on jazz club.The cause that jazz fans spend money on music will result into visiting a true musicians, which is already available.There is no amount of evidence to scant and to claim that jazz fan may spend money on newly opened jazz club.if the nation wide study had also provided proof of money spend on the propoer media of jazz entertainment will surely help the decision wheter a club to run a profitable buissiness or not.
To bolster this claim,additional information such as exact census of demograpphic,true costs and nature of people intrested in which medium of jazz should be provided.Failing to which ,it would be a equivocal suggestion to run a club.
In conclusion to context,lack of strong evidence brings this claim to flawed state.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 15, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[1]
Message: You should probably use 'state'.
Suggestion: state
The arguments states that jazz music club if established in ...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 136, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
...ding to many evidences and asssumptions.However this argument is unwarranted and has ma...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 136, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...ding to many evidences and asssumptions.However this argument is unwarranted and has ma...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 14, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...anted and has many flaws. To begin with,the number of 100,00 people attending monro...
^^^^
Line 2, column 93, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[3]
Message: The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: 'give'
Suggestion: give
...monroe annual jazz last summer does not gives us the evidence that same amount of peo...
^^^^^
Line 2, column 168, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...nt of people will visit this summer too.It might be possibility that 100,00 people...
^^
Line 2, column 214, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun people is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...ht be possibility that 100,00 people or less than that may get better jazz entertain...
^^^^
Line 2, column 299, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Opening
...ent in some other city with lower price.Opening a jazz club on this assumption that sam...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 409, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Morever
... visit monroe city does not hold ground.Morever,if it would have provided with exact na...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 416, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , if
...monroe city does not hold ground.Morever,if it would have provided with exact natur...
^^^
Line 2, column 423, Rule ID: IF_WOULD_HAVE_VBN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'had provided'?
Suggestion: had provided
...city does not hold ground.Morever,if it would have provided with exact nature of crowd and theier i...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 15, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...oe is profitable or not. Addition to it,the context elucidates that monroe has seve...
^^^^
Line 3, column 55, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[8]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun jazz seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'some jazz'.
Suggestion: some jazz
...,the context elucidates that monroe has several jazz musician and jazz night aired every wee...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 112, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Having
...ian and jazz night aired every weekends.Having available option to demographic of mon...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 118, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d jazz night aired every weekends.Having available option to demographic of monro...
^^
Line 3, column 161, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , why
...vailable option to demographic of monroe,why would people prefer jazz music club ove...
^^^^
Line 3, column 206, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...would people prefer jazz music club over available aired jazz music?Why would peo...
^^
Line 3, column 235, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Why
...c club over available aired jazz music?Why would people spend money in club? if ja...
^^^
Line 3, column 273, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...c?Why would people spend money in club? if jazz entertainment is freely available ...
^^
Line 3, column 273, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...c?Why would people spend money in club? if jazz entertainment is freely available ...
^^
Line 3, column 322, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: By
...ntertainment is freely available on air.By just assuming that quantity of people i...
^^
Line 3, column 464, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , is
...will choose to be entertain in jazz club,is just unstated.Furthermore, having such ...
^^^
Line 3, column 482, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Furthermore
...entertain in jazz club,is just unstated.Furthermore, having such a competitions,running a j...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 507, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a competition' or simply 'competitions'?
Suggestion: a competition; competitions
... just unstated.Furthermore, having such a competitions,running a jazz club is risky buissiness...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 521, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , running
....Furthermore, having such a competitions,running a jazz club is risky buissiness.If ther...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 562, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
...running a jazz club is risky buissiness.If there would be a case in which newly op...
^^
Line 3, column 666, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , this
...free vouchers and discount on music club,this will make people jump over jazz enterta...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 76, Rule ID: DOES_X_HAS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'give'? As 'do' is already inflected, the verb cannot also be inflected.
Suggestion: give
...per year on jazz entertainment does not gives evidence that same fan spends money on ...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 76, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[3]
Message: The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: 'give'
Suggestion: give
...per year on jazz entertainment does not gives evidence that same fan spends money on ...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 130, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...that same fan spends money on jazz club.The cause that jazz fans spend money on mus...
^^^
Line 4, column 209, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'musician'?
Suggestion: musician
... music will result into visiting a true musicians, which is already available.There is no...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 247, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: There
...e musicians, which is already available.There is no amount of evidence to scant and t...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 363, Rule ID: NATION_WIDE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'nationwide'?
Suggestion: nationwide
... money on newly opened jazz club.if the nation wide study had also provided proof of money ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 22, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , additional
...uissiness or not. To bolster this claim,additional information such as exact census of dem...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 82, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , true
...ion such as exact census of demograpphic,true costs and nature of people intrested in...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 167, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Failing
...which medium of jazz should be provided.Failing to which ,it would be a equivocal sugge...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 183, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...jazz should be provided.Failing to which ,it would be a equivocal suggestion to ru...
^^
Line 5, column 197, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... provided.Failing to which ,it would be a equivocal suggestion to run a club. In...
^
Line 6, column 25, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , lack
...to run a club. In conclusion to context,lack of strong evidence brings this claim to...
^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['also', 'furthermore', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'so', 'in conclusion', 'such as', 'to begin with']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.31175059952 0.25644967241 122% => OK
Verbs: 0.175059952038 0.15541462614 113% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0911270983213 0.0836205057962 109% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0407673860911 0.0520304965353 78% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0119904076739 0.0272364105082 44% => OK
Prepositions: 0.122302158273 0.125424944231 98% => OK
Participles: 0.0431654676259 0.0416121511921 104% => OK
Conjunctions: 3.15810832145 2.79052419416 113% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0335731414868 0.026700313972 126% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.001811407834 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0647482014388 0.113004496875 57% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0431654676259 0.0255425247493 169% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0215827338129 0.0127820249294 169% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2372.0 2731.13054187 87% => OK
No of words: 385.0 446.07635468 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 6.16103896104 6.12365571057 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4296068528 4.57801047555 97% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.335064935065 0.378187486979 89% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.202597402597 0.287650121315 70% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.174025974026 0.208842608468 83% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.119480519481 0.135150697306 88% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.15810832145 2.79052419416 113% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 207.018472906 90% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.485714285714 0.469332199767 103% => OK
Word variations: 51.9980825652 52.1807786196 100% => OK
How many sentences: 7.0 20.039408867 35% => More sentences wanted.
Sentence length: 55.0 23.2022227129 237% => Sentence lengths are too long.
Sentence length SD: 176.226083918 57.7814097925 305% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 338.857142857 141.986410481 239% => Less chars per sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 55.0 23.2022227129 237% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 1.28571428571 0.724660767414 177% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.14285714286 117% => OK
Language errors: 39.0 3.58251231527 1089% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 75.2597402597 51.9672348444 145% => OK
Elegance: 2.09473684211 1.8405768891 114% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.366967923867 0.441005458295 83% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.23814650937 0.135418324435 176% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0739537868975 0.0829849096947 89% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.94706107984 0.58762219726 161% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.091895389196 0.147661913831 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.217073630144 0.193483328276 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0620811592893 0.0970749176394 64% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.304331145951 0.42659136922 71% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.105023267301 0.0774707102158 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.217872208442 0.312017818177 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0748173031601 0.0698173142475 107% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.33743842365 60% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 6.87684729064 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.82512315271 41% => OK
Positive topic words: 5.0 6.46551724138 77% => OK
Negative topic words: 0.0 5.36822660099 0% => More negative topic words wanted.
Neutral topic words: 2.0 2.82389162562 71% => OK
Total topic words: 7.0 14.657635468 48% => More topic words wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.