Ten years ago,as part of a comprehensive urban renewal program,the city of Transopolis adapted for industrial use a large area of severely substandard housing near the freeway.Subsequently,several factories were constructed there,crime rates in the area declined,and property tax revenues for the entire city increased.To further revitalize the city,we should now take similar action in a declining residential area on the opposite side of the city.Since some houses and apartments in existing nearby neighborhoods are currently unoccupied,alternate housing for those displaced by this action will be readily available.
The author of this proposal to adapt a declining residential area of the city of Transopolis for industrial use in order to further revitalize the city offers an interesting argument given the experience that near the freeway similar action brought declining crime rates and increased property tax revenues for the entire city. Although the proposal seems logical, the argument is rife with holes and assumptions, not strong enough to lead to the action the author wants. Following problems serve to undermine the argument.
The author reports a large area of severely substandard housing near the way which was adapted for industrial use ten years ago, and attributes the subsequent improved situation to the adoption. However, the author is falling to consider other possible alternatives to the constructed factories, declined crime rates and property tax revenues. It is possible that the economic situation of the entire city was improved ten year ago, which could attract more investment to construct more factories and consequently create more property tax revenues for the entire city. In addition, it could be the remarkable work of admirable police of the city of Transopolis that declined crime rates of the area, but not the adoption. The author must rule out all these possibilities to conclude that it is the adaption for industrial use that results in the later economic and social improvements.
Based on the assumption that the similar action could work in the city of Transopolis again, the author proposes to adapt a declining residential area on the opposite side of the city. If the adaption the author presents now could have internal factors and external conditions that is consistent with the old adaption, maybe the argument would have merit. Nevertheless, the investment climate for factory construction now could totally differ with what it was ten years ago, as well as the environment of city public security, which could generate a totally different outcome of the new adaption in the new area. In addition, it is possible that the new area hardly have enough skilled labor force and appropriate location as the area near the freeway did. In short, similar actions in different places at different times could have widely divergent consequences.
In a nutshell, the author fails to adequately support the proposal to adapt a declining residential area for industrial use in the argument. To strengthen the argument, the author must provide more convincing evidence to validate causal relationship the adaption ten years ago and the subsequent economic and social improvements, and to prove that similar adaption could cause similar improvements.
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| 2023-08-02 | TiOluwani97 | 73 | view |
| 2023-02-23 | Yam Kumar Oli | 70 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... have widely divergent consequences. In a nutshell, the author fails to adequat...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, however, if, may, nevertheless, so, then, well, in addition, in short, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.6327345309 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 26.0 16.3942115768 159% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2259.0 2260.96107784 100% => OK
No of words: 426.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.30281690141 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54310108192 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85521769196 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.43661971831 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 728.1 705.55239521 103% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.471057884232 0% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 65.3178893311 57.8364921388 113% => OK
Chars per sentence: 150.6 119.503703932 126% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.4 23.324526521 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.66666666667 5.70786347227 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.300995542932 0.218282227539 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.108566462365 0.0743258471296 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0939180975372 0.0701772020484 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.191488989724 0.128457276422 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0615109496877 0.0628817314937 98% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.7 14.3799401198 123% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 34.6 48.3550499002 72% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 12.197005988 126% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.76 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.07 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 98.500998004 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.