Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they released from prison.
What do you think are the causes of this?
What possible solutions can you suggest?
Statistically a person who has been once convicted has a 57 percent chance to be arrested again within five years after being released. Below some reasons and solutions of the issue will be discussed in details.
To begin with, those who used to be inmates have a hard time to find a job, moreover, not having opportunity to earn money and sustain themselves has a deteriorating effect on former prisoners. Consequently, many of them might be considering committing a crime to get some cash. Furthermore, if we take a closer look at the described situation, the second cause of the problem will become noticeable – negative social attitude. In average, law-abiding citizens are suspicious and even afraid of the yesterday’s inmates. This attitude probably makes the ex-inmates to feel abandoned and ousted by society. Thus, they are pushed by the situation to commit a crime.
However, causes that were discussed above might be successfully addressed. Firstly, creating new government backed social programs that are aimed to help the released individuals to find a job could have a dramatic positive effect on the number crimes committed by the released from jail. To illustrate, a former criminal who has been employed and is able to make enough money to support himself need not look for illegal ways to earn some cash.
The last but not the lease point is that attitude to ex-inmates has to be changed in the society. Contemporary society has a plethora of biases and prejudices about those who were convicted. Those biases should be addressed. Probably, raising awareness about challenges that are faced every day by those who want to change their lives after being punished and served their terms may bring some positive results. In other words, there is a need to accept and include those who are willing to change into society.
To sum up, statistics states that many of those who were released out of jail would commit new crimes because they have no legal way to make money and are ousted by others. However, if government makes steps to help those people to find jobs, it will have an enormous positive impact on the statistics and fewer ex-inmates will violate the law again.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2017-11-14 | RSudhir | 84 | view |
| 2018-02-08 | sherin rijo | 92 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
This is somehow duplicated to the introduction:
To sum up, statistics states that many of those who were released out of jail would commit new crimes because they have no legal way to make money and are ousted by others.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 7.5 out of 9
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 368 350
No. of Characters: 1780 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.38 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.837 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.589 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 88 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 39 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.444 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.166 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.3 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.534 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.069 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Hello,
Hello,
I am writing because I hope that you can give some piece of advice about my writing. I have written several essays and I think that my problems may be noticed by you. May you point out my weak spots? And what should I improve to get a higher score?
I also would like to know how to analyze the data from e-reader. Supposedly by looking at those charts and percentages I ought to understand how to improve my writing but often it writes almost all "ok" and gives me 6,5.
Thank you.
Eugene.
For Q1: your weak points are
For Q1: your weak points are two:
1. Not exactly right on the point. Like today's two essays you sent.
2. 'redundancy'. Means it is not developed efficiently. IELTS examiners actually want very simplified but well developed sentences. While sometimes it is not really in some of your essays.
Take this essay as an example:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-writing-task-ii-ielts-general-training-ess…
the flaw is:
No. of Words: 362 while No. of Different Words: 178
we asked users developing more content, but in the mean time, the unique words should be more too. If not, the marks will be pretty low in actual exam. Minimum 200 unique words wanted, this is what we want:
No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200 to get 8.0 or more.
The solution to get a higher mark: we may suggest you only write 4 paragraphs. like this:
paragraph1: introduction
paragraph 2: idea A, first, ....second...
paragraph 3: On the other hand, idea B. first,... second...
paragraph 4: in my opinion...
4 paragraphs may prevent your 'redundancy' issues.
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For Q2:
The e-grade will give penalties to all warning message it gives, like:
Unique words: 119.0 127.690721649 93% => More unique words wanted.
difficult_words: 31.0 41.2886597938 75% => More difficult words wanted.
...
the first number is the data from essays, while the second number is the average number from all users, once the user data is too high or too low, some scores will be removed.
sometimes, there are no serious warning messages but still with a low mark, it means the essay is not outstanding.
and From the feedback of our users, IELTS examiners consider this one as the most important feature:
Unique words percentage
so we have to develop sentences very efficiently.
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, look, may, moreover, second, so, thus, as to, in other words, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 13.1623246493 175% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 7.85571142285 153% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 10.4138276553 106% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 7.30460921844 164% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 24.0651302605 91% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 41.998997996 131% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.3376753507 48% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1840.0 1615.20841683 114% => OK
No of words: 369.0 315.596192385 117% => OK
Chars per words: 4.9864498645 5.12529762239 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38284983912 4.20363070211 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71379412982 2.80592935109 97% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 176.041082164 118% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.560975609756 0.561755894193 100% => OK
syllable_count: 594.0 506.74238477 117% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 5.43587174349 92% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.76152304609 126% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 16.0721442886 112% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.2975951904 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.2616442659 49.4020404114 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.222222222 106.682146367 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5 20.7667163134 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.16666666667 7.06120827912 116% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.38176352705 114% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.01903807615 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.9879759519 201% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0941887119155 0.244688304435 38% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0339450213425 0.084324248473 40% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0461988695251 0.0667982634062 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0570304257825 0.151304729494 38% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0412645669058 0.056905535591 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 13.0946893788 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 50.2224549098 102% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 11.3001002004 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.66 12.4159519038 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.61 8.58950901804 100% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 78.4519038076 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.1190380762 99% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.