“The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.”
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
While idealistically, the recommendation that cooperation is more fruitful than competition, realistically, certain aspects of human nature may not allow this statement to hold true consistently. At face value, the word “cooperation” evokes a positive sentiment while “competition” a more vicious one. The truth is, both words’ connotations may shift to be positive or negative depending on the context. Competition serves as beneficial in some cases and for this reason I cannot fully agree with the recommendation that cooperation is the only ingredient for a well-oiled society.
Competition can come in a variety of shades. On one hand it may be cutthroat, derogatory, and even abusive and on the other it may provide a healthy catalyst for improvement. To better understand the differences between the two types of competition, I will utilize a situation in which two individuals are competing in trivia. To paint a portrait of a negative competition, the contestants use sabotage, verbal abuse, and other forms of bullying to “win.” While they may achieve this goal of winning, they leave a trail of harmful behavior that may in fact set back any progress made. For example, the other contestant may be psychologically or physically harmed. Applying this ideological example to a larger context– the society– it becomes obvious that a harshly competitive environment that leaves negative consequences on surroundings would in fact cancel out any supposed “winning.” An example of this is Tonya Harding’s, the Olympic-level figure skater whose extreme competitiveness led to her downfall in that it was driven by ill intentions.
But what about the otherside? Competition is often light-hearted, motivating, and a catalyst for improvement. It is human nature to want to surpass what came before her or him. In this healthy form, competition may in fact drive revolutionary change. Henry Ford’s desire to transform production practices to be better than what previously existed is a perfect example of good competition. Because of his desire to create the BEST system–hence the “winning” system–Henry Ford was able to develop a model that would revolutionize the US factory system. Without this competitive drive to innovate predecessor’s contributions, all the cooperation in the world may be irrelevant. An effective balance between the two principles is what a society should be instilling in its young.
While some may argue cooperation is superior to competition in society, I cannot fully support this sweeping statement. On an individual level, both in the sense of human variability and and industry differences, different aspects of each principle may need to be employed. For example, in the case of the Syrian Revolution, a cooperation rather than competition for power between the different rebel factions may have led to a more beneficial outcome for everyone. As a result of the extreme competition, the kind I described with a less serious example above, the result was a destruction of an entire country, the displacement of individuals, and the deaths of many. In a case like this, tendencies towards cooperation must be shed and instead efficient cooperation must be adopted.
Overall, my personal ideology falls to advocate more for a cooperative society but it would be selfish and inefficient to model an entire society on this. Recognizing that both ideals are necessary to instill in the young would cover more bases, take into account extreme situations, and more effectively utilize context to determine the best one to use in specific situations.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 301, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'practices being'.
Suggestion: practices being
...d's desire to transform production practices to be better than what previously existed is ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 184, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: and
... both in the sense of human variability and and industry differences, different aspects...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, hence, if, may, so, still, well, while, for example, in fact, as a result, in some cases
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.5258426966 123% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 24.0 12.4196629213 193% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 14.8657303371 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.3162921348 88% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 33.0505617978 112% => OK
Preposition: 76.0 58.6224719101 130% => OK
Nominalization: 32.0 12.9106741573 248% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3096.0 2235.4752809 138% => OK
No of words: 565.0 442.535393258 128% => OK
Chars per words: 5.4796460177 5.05705443957 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.87542086881 4.55969084622 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.61668499718 2.79657885939 129% => OK
Unique words: 296.0 215.323595506 137% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.52389380531 0.4932671777 106% => OK
syllable_count: 1009.8 704.065955056 143% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59117977528 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 13.0 4.99550561798 260% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.77640449438 338% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 10.0 4.38483146067 228% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.2370786517 124% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 77.0716445913 60.3974514979 128% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.84 118.986275619 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.6 23.4991977007 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.72 5.21951772744 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 10.2758426966 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.13820224719 117% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.178551650874 0.243740707755 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0511611388861 0.0831039109588 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0393899642044 0.0758088955206 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.10850916743 0.150359130593 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0329338386748 0.0667264976115 49% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.7 14.1392134831 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 32.22 48.8420337079 66% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.1743820225 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.8 12.1639044944 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.39 8.38706741573 112% => OK
difficult_words: 167.0 100.480337079 166% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.8971910112 88% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.