The following is part of a memorandum from the president of Humana University.
"Last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent. During the same year, Omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory and classroom space, most likely because instruction in the online programs takes place via the Internet. In contrast, over the past three years, enrollment at Humana University has failed to grow, and the cost of maintaining buildings has increased along with our budget deficit. To address these problems, Humana University will begin immediately to create and actively promote online degree programs like those at Omni. We predict that instituting these online degree programs will help Humana both increase its total enrollment and solve its budget problems."
A memorandum from the president of Humana University predict that to increase enrolment as well as budget problem they should institutes online degree programs. However, there are many flaws in a memorandum and author fails to answer some questions which is necessary to conclude that whether prediction is acceptable or not.
Omni University has offered online degree programs last year and there was a 50% increase in enrolment. During same year, Omni showed significant decrease in expenditures for dormitory and classroom space. These may raise some questions. How Omni University’s increase in online degree programs enrolment will surely increase in Humana University. If increase in online programs helps Omni University that does not mean that these will help Humana as well. So, Author should provide accurate details on how these two universities are similar that one's improvement will surely improve other.
In contrast, over the past three years, enrolment at Humana University has failed to grow and cost of maintaining buildings has increased along with budget deficit. At a time of enrolment, students also see buildings, grounds and other extra-curricular activities. If buildings are poor then on students will enrol in those universities. No one wants to study in poor buildings when other university provides better facilities. If buildings and facilities are not good then there may be poor faculties as well. Author fails to answer about how it will increase online programs when there infrastructure is poor. Thus, author should provide details on how this argument will increase online programs.
Humana University will begin to create and actively promote online degree programs. However, if they use marketing money in maintaining their buildings and provide facilities then there may be more students will enrol. Author should answer on how these promotions will help to increase online degree enrolment. Author should also answer about condition of Omni's buildings and their facilities. So, author should provide details on how promotions will help to increase online degree programs.
To sum up, author should provide strong evidence to support his argument. There are many flaws in a memorandum. Author fails to answer how Omni and Humana are similar and how promotions will increase enrolment of Humana University.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-07-29 | Yash0535 | 27 | view |
| 2019-07-15 | raolitesh@gmail.com | 86 | view |
| 2019-03-11 | Ravi Khaitan | 50 | view |
| 2019-03-03 | evanlu | 42 | view |
| 2019-02-04 | evanlu | 54 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: A memorandum from the president of Humana University predict that to increase enrolment as well as budget problem they should institutes online degree programs.
Error: enrolment Suggestion: enrollment
Sentence: Omni University has offered online degree programs last year and there was a 50 increase in enrolment.
Error: enrolment Suggestion: enrollment
Sentence: How Omni University's increase in online degree programs enrolment will surely increase in Humana University.
Error: enrolment Suggestion: enrollment
Sentence: In contrast, over the past three years, enrolment at Humana University has failed to grow and cost of maintaining buildings has increased along with budget deficit.
Error: enrolment Suggestion: enrollment
Sentence: At a time of enrolment, students also see buildings, grounds and other extra-curricular activities.
Error: enrolment Suggestion: enrollment
Sentence: If buildings are poor then on students will enrol in those universities.
Error: enrol Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: However, if they use marketing money in maintaining their buildings and provide facilities then there may be more students will enrol.
Error: enrol Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Author should answer on how these promotions will help to increase online degree enrolment.
Error: enrolment Suggestion: enrollment
Sentence: Author fails to answer how Omni and Humana are similar and how promotions will increase enrolment of Humana University.
Error: enrolment Suggestion: enrollment
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flaws:
Need to argue against the conclusion always. For this topic it is:
We predict that instituting these online degree programs will help Humana both increase its total enrollment and solve its budget problems.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 363 350
No. of Characters: 1945 1500
No. of Different Words: 156 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.365 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.358 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.702 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 161 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.783 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.266 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.609 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.353 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.525 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.098 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 266, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... and other extra-curricular activities. If buildings are poor then on students wil...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, may, so, then, thus, well, in contrast, as well as, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.9520958084 162% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 55.5748502994 77% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2001.0 2260.96107784 89% => OK
No of words: 363.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.51239669421 5.12650576532 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.3649236973 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.812921745 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 162.0 204.123752495 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.446280991736 0.468620217663 95% => OK
syllable_count: 633.6 705.55239521 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.754870824 57.8364921388 58% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 87.0 119.503703932 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.7826086957 23.324526521 68% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.47826086957 5.70786347227 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.302685240704 0.218282227539 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.106937230655 0.0743258471296 144% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.115137960624 0.0701772020484 164% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.189155078563 0.128457276422 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.110664482995 0.0628817314937 176% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 47.79 48.3550499002 99% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.38 12.5979740519 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.51 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 98.500998004 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.