The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The director of student housing at Buckingham College has optimistically derived conclusion to building new dormitories. Director presented several reasons why the new dormitories should be built but as they are filled with holes and assumptions it is not cogent. The observations director stated in the memo are not typically derives to the conclusion to build new dormitories.
First of all, it is true that enrollment for the college is increasing rapidly but currently they have sufficient dormitories for the students. It is not mentioned that there is shortage of the dormitories on the current basis, otherwise it was convincing that the need of dormitories is urgency. Lon term planning is good but not to the extent that you end up thinking about the scenario after 50 years. 50 years a very long duration to make about the rapidly increasing students' enrollment in college. We can't assume that the after 50 years the students will definitely increase and dormitories will be insufficient.
Moving ahead, the argument states that average rent for apartment has risen in recent years. How can we assume that the college is situated in town? It is also possible that it is situated outside the town. So that clearly won't affect the students of the Buckingham college.The location of the college is not stated. it is also possible that students prefer to have off-campus apartment not dormitory provided by Buckingham college. This dismiss the assumption that the more enrollment in college is tantamount to more requirement for dormitories. Other than that, there my be several other reasons possible for increasing rates of the apartments. Those reasons be like, increasing population in the town, immigration of people to the town as town has various attractive qualities, high construction and maintaining cost etc. It is not stated the firm reason for the situation happening.
Continuing with, there is nowhere mentioned that which type of students are being enrolled in the Buckingham college, it is possible that the student those are enrolling in the Buckingham college has a rich financial background. Thus for them there is not a big deal to afford a off-campus house. Lastly, in major cases the academic value that matters to attract students not the dormitories. If the Buckingham College is significant academic performance then the students will be ready to bear any hurdles for getting the best education. The comfort won't affect them. Even if Buckingham is local college then also the new dormitories won't be the attractive quality.
In conclusion, I would like to say that there the director made trivial arguments to reach up to conclusion. The weak flaws are not at all helpful to provide convincing to reader. Due to the lack of statistical data and proper links among the points the argument fails to make a proper decision.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not exactly
argument 3 -- OK
----------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 471 350
No. of Characters: 2356 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.659 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.002 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.82 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 167 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 143 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 102 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 69 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.625 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.921 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.417 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.288 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.5 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 269, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'observations'' or 'observation's'?
Suggestion: observations'; observation's
...s and assumptions it is not cogent. The observations director stated in the memo are not typ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 83, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...or the college is increasing rapidly but currently they have sufficient dormitori...
^^
Line 4, column 474, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...on to make about the rapidly increasing students enrollment in college. We cant assume t...
^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 509, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...sing students enrollment in college. We cant assume that the after 50 years the stud...
^^^^
Line 6, column 208, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[3]
Message: “So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...e that it is situated outside the town. So that clearly wont affect the students of the...
^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 275, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
... the students of the Buckingham college.The location of the college is not stated. ...
^^^
Line 6, column 318, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
... location of the college is not stated. it is also possible that students prefer t...
^^
Line 6, column 572, Rule ID: MY_BE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'may be' or 'might be'?
Suggestion: may be; might be
...for dormitories. Other than that, there my be several other reasons possible for incr...
^^^^^
Line 6, column 889, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...irm reason for the situation happening. Continuing with, there is nowhere mentio...
^^^^^
Line 8, column 230, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...ollege has a rich financial background. Thus for them there is not a big deal to aff...
^^^^
Line 8, column 278, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... them there is not a big deal to afford a off-campus house. Lastly, in major case...
^
Line 8, column 570, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[2]
Message: “Even if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ducation. The comfort wont affect them. Even if Buckingham is local college then also t...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, lastly, so, then, thus, as to, in conclusion, first of all, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2400.0 2260.96107784 106% => OK
No of words: 467.0 441.139720559 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.1391862955 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64867537961 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90472177341 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.477516059957 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 742.5 705.55239521 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.6543373815 57.8364921388 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.3076923077 119.503703932 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.9615384615 23.324526521 77% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.53846153846 5.70786347227 62% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.255391636372 0.218282227539 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0699884029963 0.0743258471296 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0903501002177 0.0701772020484 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.141985685007 0.128457276422 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0938402893931 0.0628817314937 149% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 14.3799401198 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.24 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.0 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 98.500998004 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.