In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.
What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

There is no doubt that people overweight and the health getting worse, which led to the risk of sickness increase in nowadays. In my opinion, this problem must be tackled because it not only damage and threaten our body but also decrease our life span.

In the first place, technological improvement is an important element of the average weight going up. Technology boosts efficiency and raises the standard of living; therefore, people can use internet do a lot of things that cannot do before. For example, people can use online bank to transfer money, send letter and shopping on website without going out. However, this changed our lifestyles. Afterward, the long working hours is a one of factors, which means that the busy working schedules let us sedentary all the day and reduce leisure time. Because of the convenient modern life and hard work that made individuals getting weight.

Finally, it is clear that eating habits is an important element of gain weight. In modern society, people eat too much fast food or junk food and prefer food with high in calories that have negative effects for our healthy such us acquire chronic diseases, destroy our health etc.

From my perspective, in order to cope with those reasons I mentioned, People should balance their diet and decline the calories ingestion as well as take regular exercise and leisure activities. For instance, people can join the gym and do more activities to maintain our fitness.

In conclusion, there are three causes of weight increase and there are several possible solutions to this problem. Depend on individuals to choose the best method.

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Sentence: There is no doubt that people overweight and the health getting worse, which led to the risk of sickness increase in nowadays.
Suggestion: Can you re-write this sentence? A lot of errors.

because it not only damage and threaten our body but also decrease our life span.
because it not only damages and threatens our body but also decreases our life span.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 270 350
No. of Characters: 1317 1500
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.054 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.878 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.42 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 106 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 74 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 40 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.286 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.004 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.306 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.576 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.053 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5