Music and Education
Music is combination of tones that produce a beautiful sound. While education is thinking person’s level measured from the level of the school after person around. According to some people, the both are most important on the future of the person’s own. Not only some people think music that can support a person’s career, but also the others people think education that can support future.
Firstly, some people believe music that can support a person’s career. They think that because a lot of people are successful with the music. But in my opinion do not like this, because I think music is just supporting factor to success but it is not the first factor to be successful. And I think without the music people can still to be success.
Secondly, some people others think education that can support future of the person’s own. Most people measure the intelligence of person from the education level. And many people think that higher the level of education can will be person more successful. But I also do not agree with the opinion. Because in reality, although many people with a high education but do not get good job.
Thirdly, some people think music that can support a person’s career, and others think education that can support a person’s future. In my opinion, the both are important to make people success but it is not the first factor. Because there are many other factor that make person’s can be successful. For example the other factor is patience and diligence.
In summary, some people think music and aducation is most important on the future of the person’s own. But I think I am disagree with the both of them. My opinion, the both will be better if get balance and supported by other factors.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2014-01-04 | Nur Restuningsih | 40 | view |
- In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents. But in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner.Use your own ideas, knowledge and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. (Rewrite) 70
- You had a good meal in a local restaurant with your family Write a letter to the newspaper to tell them about it describe the meal you had and why you think the restaurant is worth visiting 62
- Same people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Other thinks that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to develop your essay. 43
- You recently visited a place that had a strong impact on you. Write a letter to a friend about the place. In your letter explain where the place was and how you got there. Describe what you saw and offer to take your friend there. 75
- A friend of yours is going on holiday soon and has asked you to recommend a destination.Write a letter to your friend and recommend a good place for a holiday that you have visited before 60
Sentence: According to some people, the both are most important on the future of the person's own.
Description: The fragment , the both is not usually followed by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
Sentence: Not only some people think music that can support a person's career, but also the others people think education that can support future.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to others and people
Sentence: Secondly, some people others think education that can support future of the person's own.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and others
Sentence: In my opinion, the both are important to make people success but it is not the first factor.
Description: The fragment , the both is not usually followed by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and success
Sentence: My opinion, the both will be better if get balance and supported by other factors.
Description: A conjunction, subordinating is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to if and get
Sentence: In summary, some people think music and aducation is most important on the future of the person's own.
Error: aducation Suggestion: education
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 107 200
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 299 350
No. of Characters: 1384 1500
No. of Different Words: 107 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.158 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.629 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.285 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 101 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 65 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.95 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.79 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.397 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.563 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.158 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5